K-Spot Flashback

Originally posted a year ago today...The crazy thing is this is a true story. I could not have made this up if I tried...

The craziest thing happened Monday evening, and I completely forgot about it until I woke up this morning. By now I am sure that most have heard (or at least heard of) the phone call from Samuel L. Jackson promoting his movie “Snakes on a Plane”. Well, this weekend I sent the message to every that I knew…except my mother. The following are the reasons that I thought she would find it offensive:

1. He says the word damn.
2. It’s about “Snakes on a Plane”, and snakes are evil. Satan appeared in the form of a serpent to tempt Eve.
3. He says “For God’s Sake” Oooohh, that is the ultimate no-no, we do not use God’s name in vain.

Well, I went against my better judgment and sent the message to my mother this past Monday around 6pm. She missed the call and called me back an hour later (without checking her vm) to see if I had called her. I told her “No, it was somebody else, you should have a message”. She let me know that she will check her message and I told her I will call her later. Well, I thought the fact that I told her that someone else called and should have left her a message was clue enough that I had something to do with all this. Not too mention that my cell phone number is the number that displayed as the missed called. Well, I was leaving Target at 10pm and I decided to check with Momma to see if she received her call. She answers her phone in a very frantic voice “Keli (pronounced key-lee) I can’t talk right now, momma will have to call you back” and hangs up the phone. I am thinking to myself, “Ok that was strange, what is going on there”. Being that I found her behavior to be odd I called right back. “Keli Vernee (pronounced ver-nay) momma can’t talk right now, let me call you back”. At this point, I am really nervous and wondering what the heck is up (being that we don’t reside in the same city).

Well…

My mother calls me back about 15mins later and the conversation went something like this.
“Did you send me some crazy message from a computer?”
I start laughing and say “Yes, it was a message from Samuel…” Before I could get the rest out I hear…
“That was not funny. I just left the police station, I took my phone to the cops to let them here that message because I did not know what was going on. I thought it was a death threat. That man knew that I was in Pharmaceuticals, he knew that I wore glasses, and he even called my car a tin can (she drives a 1994 Maxima)”.
I am like geeking for real, and asked “Did you listen to the entire message?”
“Yes, I did listen to the entire message, and he said that I will kill you”.
“Did you not hear him say, “Pick up your Daughter, Keli”.
Yes, but he said Kelly, and your name is Keli, so that threw me off even more".
“Momma I’m sorry” trying to hold back my laughter, “ I did not mean to scare you”.
I then hear my dad yelling in the background “That shit wasn’t funny!”
“Momma, I’m sorry, I did not realize that it would scare you. I sent it to several people (including aunts and uncles) and they all seemed to think it was hilarious”.
“Well, it was not, and the police officer thought it was funny too. He had a little smirk on his face when he informed me that it was for a movie”.
“What did he say” I asked.
“He said, “Ma’am, that is Samuel L. Jackson talking about his movie, Snakes on a Plane”.
My Dad was initially defending my mom, but then I hear him give his final two cents.
“You should have known that is was Keli with that crazy shit, who else would do something like that.”
At this point I can not help but laugh out loud.
“Momma you need to calm down, you are just too high strung”.
“Did you just call you mother high strung!”
And on that note, she was mad. I think I have just solidified my position as the bad daughter. I called her Tuesday morning to make sure she was not still mad, and to try and make up if she was. She informed me that she was never angry with me, she just did not find it funny. She also said that next time something like this happens, she will call me first, before jumping to conclusions. I then informed her that there will not be a next time, that she has been removed from the send list. My dad was mad as hell…he was the one that had to drive her to the police station, and he does not deal with the po-po’s.

I had noooo idea that a joke would turn into a terror alert code red.