Tree Bark Fiber Cookies

After biting into the most disquieting granola bar…it was like oats rolled in honey…I decided to browse the net for a nice delicious homemade granola bar recipe. Well, one common ingredient in all bars was, oatmeal…however, I did not see any granola present in any of the recipes. So after careful consideration…yeah, I put some thought into this…I decided to make some oatmeal cookies. Then, I had to take inventory before going to the store…flour? No, sugar? No, oatmeal…hell to the no. I only eat oatmeal if it’s in a cookie…a homemade cookie with no raisins. Anyhoo…I thought to myself, do I really want to buy oatmeal and flour to make some oatmeal cookies. I mean they are not even my favorite cookies. And why oatmeal do you ask…well…I am trying to increase the amount of fiber in my diet…oatmeal is a good source of fiber right? Well once I got to the store I decided I was not about to spend that much money on making some cookies. So I did the unthinkable...I picked up bag Betty Crocker oatmeal cookie mix. I looked at the back of the package to see what I needed…eggs…got that…butter…got that…and water…I think I can manage. So I get home, I heat my oven to 375 degrees, and I am ready to get my bake on. I set the stick of margarine (yeah, I used margarine, though it would be healthier than butter) earlier so it was ready to go. I put the margarine in the bowl, then I open up the mix and begin to pour. WTH?! There are big black chunks in the mix. “I’m about to get paid!” I pick up a chunk to inspect…”Yep, I think I might have grounds for a law suit?” is all I can think…someone at Betty Crocker done lost their dang mind…and put some tree bark in the cookies. I’m on the phone with my girl Keshia, and I ask
“Should my oatmeal mix contain tree bark?”
“Ummm, I don’t think so?”
“Ok, this is a mess…let me call my mom”
So I dial my mama’s number and get her voice mail.
“Mama, this is Keli, please give me a call as soon as you get this message?”
Then I call my friend Stephanie.
She calls me back and I am now on the phone with Keshia again
“Girl?! I was calling to ask you why I have treebark in my oatmeal cookie mix. What ingredient could that possibly be?”
“I don’t know?”
“Ok, I’m on the phone with Keshia…I will call you back”
I even hit up a friend on IM asking “Should my oatmeal cookie mix contain treebark”
“What da hell!?” is his response.
“Oh, I guess not…”
So then, I dig in the trash (yes, I reached in the trash) to look at the back of the package to see the list of ingredients…
…Cinnamon…is cinnamon’s original form tree bark? I pick up one of the pieces of bark and smell it…it smelled kinda like cinnamon…then I lick it…it tastes kinda like cinnamon. So then, I run it under water, and the water running of it turns red.
So then I had to go to Google…cinnamon…according to Wikipedia is a form of evergreen.
Hot mess! Why would Betty Crocker put whole tree bark in the cookie mix?! Don’t most people grind cinnamon or shave it from the bark..or whatever process they use to get the cinnamon in a form that does not look like a damn piece of wood in a cookie. Hot mess indeed! So did Betty Crocker expect me to eat pieces of tree trunk. Hot mess! But…once I found out the tree bark was safe…I discarded the trunks, stirred in my walnuts, and continued baking my fiber cookies.