You're It!

Well actually I'm it! Thanks to my girl Patrice.

I was TAGGED..


So I guess I have to tell y'all my business now. This is the only way she could get me to post two days in a row, lol.


Accent: I guess to some I have a southern twang.

I don't drink: any alcoholic beverages

Pets: No thank you! Animals are meant to be outdoors, and even then I don't want them too close to me.

Essential Electronics: My cordless phone…yep, I said cordless not cell (I can do without a cell on most days), and my pc, and my vacuum cleaner. I have even been known to vacuum the kitchen floor.


Perfume: None, I am allergic to most fragrances. Right now I have some vanilla scented perfume oil from The Body Shop.


Gold or Silver: Gold…yellow gold…it compliments my undertones nicely. Silver tones make me look ashy.


Insomnia: Sometimes…I was up until almost 2 o'clock this morning reading a book I don't even really find that interesting.


Job Title: Recruiting Associate


Most Admired Trait: My strength


Kids: Maybe, however, my nieces always say that they are like my children…so I guess I have two, lol.

Religion: Christened Catholic, Raised Non-denominational, was a member of a full-gospel fellowship when I graduated HS, and I am currently a member of a Baptist fellowship. With all that being said…I identify myself as Christian. For me it is more about spirituality, God's word than religious doctrines.

Siblings: Yes…only one that I really claim. My younger sister Kasey.

Time I Wake Up: This morning…6:25 am

Unusual Talent/Skill: None that I can think of…I guess I am pretty ordinary.

Veggie I refuse to eat: Most…I don't like cooked vegetables period, unless its corn.

Worst Habit: Not exercising consistently


X-Rays: Dental

Favorite Meal: Fried shrimp, baked potato, gumbo, and a side salad...with a scoop of bluebell homemade vanilla ice cream for dessert, yum!

Kayos...you're it!

Tree Bark Fiber Cookies

After biting into the most disquieting granola bar…it was like oats rolled in honey…I decided to browse the net for a nice delicious homemade granola bar recipe. Well, one common ingredient in all bars was, oatmeal…however, I did not see any granola present in any of the recipes. So after careful consideration…yeah, I put some thought into this…I decided to make some oatmeal cookies. Then, I had to take inventory before going to the store…flour? No, sugar? No, oatmeal…hell to the no. I only eat oatmeal if it’s in a cookie…a homemade cookie with no raisins. Anyhoo…I thought to myself, do I really want to buy oatmeal and flour to make some oatmeal cookies. I mean they are not even my favorite cookies. And why oatmeal do you ask…well…I am trying to increase the amount of fiber in my diet…oatmeal is a good source of fiber right? Well once I got to the store I decided I was not about to spend that much money on making some cookies. So I did the unthinkable...I picked up bag Betty Crocker oatmeal cookie mix. I looked at the back of the package to see what I needed…eggs…got that…butter…got that…and water…I think I can manage. So I get home, I heat my oven to 375 degrees, and I am ready to get my bake on. I set the stick of margarine (yeah, I used margarine, though it would be healthier than butter) earlier so it was ready to go. I put the margarine in the bowl, then I open up the mix and begin to pour. WTH?! There are big black chunks in the mix. “I’m about to get paid!” I pick up a chunk to inspect…”Yep, I think I might have grounds for a law suit?” is all I can think…someone at Betty Crocker done lost their dang mind…and put some tree bark in the cookies. I’m on the phone with my girl Keshia, and I ask
“Should my oatmeal mix contain tree bark?”
“Ummm, I don’t think so?”
“Ok, this is a mess…let me call my mom”
So I dial my mama’s number and get her voice mail.
“Mama, this is Keli, please give me a call as soon as you get this message?”
Then I call my friend Stephanie.
She calls me back and I am now on the phone with Keshia again
“Girl?! I was calling to ask you why I have treebark in my oatmeal cookie mix. What ingredient could that possibly be?”
“I don’t know?”
“Ok, I’m on the phone with Keshia…I will call you back”
I even hit up a friend on IM asking “Should my oatmeal cookie mix contain treebark”
“What da hell!?” is his response.
“Oh, I guess not…”
So then, I dig in the trash (yes, I reached in the trash) to look at the back of the package to see the list of ingredients…
…Cinnamon…is cinnamon’s original form tree bark? I pick up one of the pieces of bark and smell it…it smelled kinda like cinnamon…then I lick it…it tastes kinda like cinnamon. So then, I run it under water, and the water running of it turns red.
So then I had to go to Google…cinnamon…according to Wikipedia is a form of evergreen.
Hot mess! Why would Betty Crocker put whole tree bark in the cookie mix?! Don’t most people grind cinnamon or shave it from the bark..or whatever process they use to get the cinnamon in a form that does not look like a damn piece of wood in a cookie. Hot mess indeed! So did Betty Crocker expect me to eat pieces of tree trunk. Hot mess! But…once I found out the tree bark was safe…I discarded the trunks, stirred in my walnuts, and continued baking my fiber cookies.

K-Spot Flashback

Originally posted a year ago today...The crazy thing is this is a true story. I could not have made this up if I tried...

The craziest thing happened Monday evening, and I completely forgot about it until I woke up this morning. By now I am sure that most have heard (or at least heard of) the phone call from Samuel L. Jackson promoting his movie “Snakes on a Plane”. Well, this weekend I sent the message to every that I knew…except my mother. The following are the reasons that I thought she would find it offensive:

1. He says the word damn.
2. It’s about “Snakes on a Plane”, and snakes are evil. Satan appeared in the form of a serpent to tempt Eve.
3. He says “For God’s Sake” Oooohh, that is the ultimate no-no, we do not use God’s name in vain.

Well, I went against my better judgment and sent the message to my mother this past Monday around 6pm. She missed the call and called me back an hour later (without checking her vm) to see if I had called her. I told her “No, it was somebody else, you should have a message”. She let me know that she will check her message and I told her I will call her later. Well, I thought the fact that I told her that someone else called and should have left her a message was clue enough that I had something to do with all this. Not too mention that my cell phone number is the number that displayed as the missed called. Well, I was leaving Target at 10pm and I decided to check with Momma to see if she received her call. She answers her phone in a very frantic voice “Keli (pronounced key-lee) I can’t talk right now, momma will have to call you back” and hangs up the phone. I am thinking to myself, “Ok that was strange, what is going on there”. Being that I found her behavior to be odd I called right back. “Keli Vernee (pronounced ver-nay) momma can’t talk right now, let me call you back”. At this point, I am really nervous and wondering what the heck is up (being that we don’t reside in the same city).

Well…

My mother calls me back about 15mins later and the conversation went something like this.
“Did you send me some crazy message from a computer?”
I start laughing and say “Yes, it was a message from Samuel…” Before I could get the rest out I hear…
“That was not funny. I just left the police station, I took my phone to the cops to let them here that message because I did not know what was going on. I thought it was a death threat. That man knew that I was in Pharmaceuticals, he knew that I wore glasses, and he even called my car a tin can (she drives a 1994 Maxima)”.
I am like geeking for real, and asked “Did you listen to the entire message?”
“Yes, I did listen to the entire message, and he said that I will kill you”.
“Did you not hear him say, “Pick up your Daughter, Keli”.
Yes, but he said Kelly, and your name is Keli, so that threw me off even more".
“Momma I’m sorry” trying to hold back my laughter, “ I did not mean to scare you”.
I then hear my dad yelling in the background “That shit wasn’t funny!”
“Momma, I’m sorry, I did not realize that it would scare you. I sent it to several people (including aunts and uncles) and they all seemed to think it was hilarious”.
“Well, it was not, and the police officer thought it was funny too. He had a little smirk on his face when he informed me that it was for a movie”.
“What did he say” I asked.
“He said, “Ma’am, that is Samuel L. Jackson talking about his movie, Snakes on a Plane”.
My Dad was initially defending my mom, but then I hear him give his final two cents.
“You should have known that is was Keli with that crazy shit, who else would do something like that.”
At this point I can not help but laugh out loud.
“Momma you need to calm down, you are just too high strung”.
“Did you just call you mother high strung!”
And on that note, she was mad. I think I have just solidified my position as the bad daughter. I called her Tuesday morning to make sure she was not still mad, and to try and make up if she was. She informed me that she was never angry with me, she just did not find it funny. She also said that next time something like this happens, she will call me first, before jumping to conclusions. I then informed her that there will not be a next time, that she has been removed from the send list. My dad was mad as hell…he was the one that had to drive her to the police station, and he does not deal with the po-po’s.

I had noooo idea that a joke would turn into a terror alert code red.

I Rock!

My girl Patrice was named a Rockin Girl Blogger (and rightfully so!). So in turn, she had to name 5 Rockin Girl Bloggers, and yours truly made the cut. Now, Patrice would be on my list, but no need…she’s already secured her spot…knitter, artist, hair stylist, and now entrepreneur…check out Paige Turners…she indeed is rockin it! So now that I have the honor, I would like to bestow the same upon my Top 5 Rockin Girl Bloggers:


Erica B-This rocking girl blogger and mother of 3 is anything but your typical soccer mom. She is one talented seamstress that embodies class, sophistication and style. Want to see how it’s supposed to be done…Visit Erica and take a look at her DIY Styles.

Kayos-Her mind if full of just that…but don’t be fooled, her blog posts are very interesting and thoughtful. My partner in crime on The Sports Salon, Kayos always has the latest news and updates in the world of sports.

Mizz Write-What can I say? Writer…Publisher? Mizz Write has it going on! If you have not checked out her blog, I suggest you do so ASAP so you can see what this talented rockin girl blogger is all about.

Invisible Woman-I discovered her blog not too long ago after she left me a message on my myblog profile page. This funky and fresh rockin girl blogger provides a new prospective on black art… black cinema. Her blog celebrates our culture, while illustrating the relevance of black cinema of both yesterday and today. I suggest you check her out.

Juiicy Scoop-Need the newest in celebrity news and gossip…hit up Juiicy. You know I had to shout out my fellow southern gal (Even though she is an Oklahoma State Cowgirl), one of the trillest chicks in blogland (next to myself of course) not too mention that I find her quite hilarious.

Woman Seeking Man

Woman Seeking Man, but not any ol’ man will do. Unless you fit the following criteria please do not respond…

You must be…

Intelligent, Honest, Trustworthy, Passionate, Compassionate, Ambitious, Determined, Loving, Sharing , Humorous, Creative, Stylish, Respectful (of self and others), Faithful…Oh…and you must love Football!

I want a man that wants me…not the idea of me. You must realize that my world does not and will not revolve around you, but that does not mean you are not important in my life. You must realize I have my own dreams and aspirations and your support is needed, wanted, and expected…sometimes I need a cheerleader too. You have to understand that both of us have to give 100% in order to build…no 50/50 here. Sometimes I might need you to do something you may not want to…are you willing to make that compromise for me? So what, we have differences, that’s what makes life interesting…I would be bored if we were exactly the same, however, you must be willing to experience new things, understand that our differences is what makes us special. It’s ok if you’re hip-hop and I’m R&B…you can’t have one without the other. You must be willing to sit and chill with my family all day because it’s important to me. You must be willing to make a complete fool of yourself if it will bring a smile to my face…don’t want a man that takes himself too seriously. You must be willing to pray with me, and for me. You have to understand that I come with issues for I am not perfect…but neither are you. You must realize that I like what I like, and just because I don’t share your opinion, does not mean I don’t honor and respect it. You must realize that sometimes I will become frustrated and upset with you…but that does not mean that my feelings have changed. Will you call me before you go to bed just because you want to hear my voice? Will you sit with me in silence just because you want to share my space and time? It’s the little things that count, and I am well worth the effort!

Can you accept me…my differences, my quirks, my faults…those things that make me me? I expect a lot from those close to me…do you think you can handle the responsibility? If you meet the minimum qualifications for this position, then your response is welcomed…otherwise, please don’t respond.

Copyright © 2007 by kelic
All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used or reproduced in without the author's consent.

Musical Tourette's II

Prince actually says “Thoughts of creamy human jive…” Creamy human jive? That sounds messy.

Pick up the Pieces!

Still can’t shake…Make my funk the p funk, I wants to get funked up.

Nor can I shake…”Don’t you know no good…”

I also randomly bust out with, ”Let me introduce you to some new things”…”I order it tomorrow look at the time I saved ya, mama let me upgrade cha”

Yeah, I know the words are probably wrong, but that’s how I hear it in my head. The voices sing to me.

“I wish you well, but right now I’m just bitter…You make me sick…you kinda make me sick boy”.

“We are the World, We are the children”. Heard a version sung by a Houston DJ begging McNair to draft Young back in 2006…hot azz mess!

Prince Rogers Nelson is that man…I don’t think you understand…the sound of his voice alone turns me on. I was listening to “Black Sweat” and he says “I don’t wanna take my clothes off, but I do.” Lol

Why?! Some one please tell me why?! They gave that Crank dat Soulja Boy and superman a hoe boy a record deal. The beat is tight though…should be a crime to lay that foolishness over a track like that. Then what gets me is that fact that the boy has a severe speech impediment…I mean, he can’t even say azz and ho right…*smh* and how do you superman a hoe anyway? Makes no got darn sense.

“My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time”. But Rick made the track funky…in my best Rick James voice “She likes to party all the time”.

Didn’t Donkey have a song title “Put Your Mouth on Me”? If anyone finds it, holla at your girl.