Secretive? Guarded? Both were used to describe me today…
The first could possibly mean a lack of trust? But who am I not trusting? The situation or the person?
I think that one reason I tend to be guarded, is because everyone always tend to a form an opinion…good or bad, and sometimes I am just not wanting to have to listen to other’s opinions on the situation. I guess I feel, that if you open up, you open yourself to ridicule.
Other times I just don’t flat out trust you…can’t trust that you will not try to manipulate things for your favor…or to hurt me…misery does love company.
Another reason that I chose to not disclose all, is because some people automatically want to think the worst…they automatically assume that you're acting with malicious intent...or that someone you're close to is purposely trying to hurt you. They see the worst in everyone…not just me…others...they see the worst in themselves, in everyone close to them…and sometimes these same folks that want to see the worst in those close to them, come to the defense and/or aid of someone they barely know…that barely knows them.
But most importantly…I think that the reason that I choose to keep certain things to self, is because not all is meant to be shared…some things are best kept to self…if there is anything to tell, it will be revealed in due time.
So, should I not mention anything? If I have to be vague about the situation, I guess it is probably best for me not to mention it at all.
At the end of the day…it’s my happiness, my trust, my feelings that are on the line.
And right now, I am just not ready to take the risk…way too much at stake.
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10 comments:
hmmm I can understand your p.o.v. however Keeping walls up though you say the are meant for protection can end up keeping OUT some good things, people, options, opinions.
Not saying you wont get hurt, but you'llflearn something...
Im a very open person not too many instances where i keep my guard up. I take people at face value. Now when/if you hurt me maliciously then i take my lick and chalk it up to the game.
live and learn.... life is abt experiences.. I have lived!
Patrice, I hear you...my life is an open book, well usually it is, but lately...I have been very guarded...I have been hurt by people close to me, and now I am just a bit on defense.
u know me, i write what i think and feel, but i respect your choice and will stilll read u
all-mi-t...
it's less about what I write, but more so about what I say in the real world...it's the real world folks that I have become weary of...
I just have to question the motives of some of the people around me...that's all...not sure who I can trust at times...it's something I need to work on...probably starting with cutting the bad elements out.
I feel u. I was always closed and gaurded cause I know ppl aint shit sometimes. But growing up Ive learned to read ppl and once u fuck me, u out my life. I know I should forgive them but thats something Im still working on. Long story short, I feel u.
i get where ur comin from
just dont build them walls up too high
Whatever Open book...you NEED to be WRITING that book...now get to it.
Sometimes you have to look at your surroundings. You kind of talked about the mentality of the people.. You were talking about people automatically thinking the worst. And not just about you, about them selves and others.. thats not healthy. Ive felt that way at times and it can close you off. you'll find your circle to roam again.. -Q.
I feel ya 2 Ian...I hear ya Q.
Sometimes you gotta do what you do for yourself. Trust is earned and even then the taps need to be manned. You want to think well of people (and you know the ones you can), but there are those who will take what they know and abuse it. Never can be too careful.
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