Two Tears In A Bucket!

This has really become my motto in the past week or two. I am spent, I am beyond tired, and I say “Two Tears in a Bucket…”

It seems that I am the shoulder that people in my life tends to lean on. Problem being…when I need a shoulder, it seems there is NO one there. I have spread myself way too thin over the past month, and unfortunately, things are going to get worse before they get better. However, I am going to have to take time and just take care of self. I had a mild panic attack the other morning, only because I have been running myself ragged worring about the well being of others. To hell with everyone else right now. If these past few weeks have taught me anything, they have taught me it’s ok to be selfish.

On another note…

I hate being given the “cold shoulder” but when someone chooses not to communicate with you, what can you do. It seems that a few people in my life have chosen to give me the cold shoulder here recently, and this had me upset for a minute. If I try to reach out to you, I feel that you should at least give me the courtesy of letting me know what’s the deal. I look at is this way…we’re grown, so we should be able to communicate our issues to each other right? I would rather you tell me that you choose not to talk to me and why, versus me sitting here wondering why the hell you are not talking to me. But again I say ‘”Two Tears In A Bucket…”

Now…

I have met a few people via the net. I am not on myspace, nor do I have a profile on any personal sites…There’s a reason for that. However, through blogging, I came across an online community that I grew much “attached” to. I made some connections and really felt as though I made a few friends. It is very odd however, considering I have only met one person, and I have only had actual verbal conversations with a couple. I am generally a guarded individual, however, I really felt comfortable in this format and found myself opening up, like I would with me “real world’ friends. However, things happen, shit happens, people happen, and I learned that not all of us were showing our real faces. It seems that some people get on the net to try to “jump fly”…fabricating stories about themselves to come across interesting or to impress others. I also learned that there is a lot of online “haterism”. I was never one to try to fit into the group. I feel that if you accept me, you are accepting “me”. I also was naïve in believing, that grown azz people know how to act accordingly. My mistake, I forgot grown does not equal mature. My mother has been warning me to be careful because there are crazies on the net…I think I need to heed her warning.

I would just like to close this post by saying…”Two Tears In A Bucket…”