Monday, November 26, 2007

My Thanksgiving...

was nice…spent a lot of time with the family and hate all the turkey, ham, and dessert I could stand.

Then there was Friday…we played TX a&m, and loss…for the second straight year in a row! Ridiculous! Then my Tennessee titans got drugged by their helmets by Cincinnati…the Bengals? Who loses to the Bengals? And they did not just lose…they got theirs handed to them…by the Bengals?! Let's just say I have had a rough time in regards to football. So much so that I vowed not to watch any this week…easier said than done…I will watch the Titans next week (if it's televised in my area), and I will watch the Longhorns play in another Alamo Bowl…or Thrifty Car Rental Bowl…or Holiday Bowl…whatever Bowl it will not be the Fiesta Bowl…grrr (grits teeth). And now I have to root for the sooners…I always go for the Big 12 South team in the championship game…and I want OU to kick Mizzou's azz!

You now…I was off work for 5 days and I don't feel rested at all. I actually complained about having to come into the office today, but you know…I should give thanks…some people wish they had a job to go to…I really don't have a reason to complain…my life is pretty good…I have been blessed.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, I am craving everything but Thanksgiving day food…I wanted tacos on Friday, ate leftovers instead…craved seafood on Saturday, ate leftovers instead…had the taste for pizza yesterday, had left overs instead…I am NOT eating anything else related to Thanksgiving for a while.

Now it's time to get ready for Christmas…I'm shopping for two people age 8 and 9…and they are pretty easy to please…other than that…BA-HUMBUG!

I am a Christian…but…as a Christian I am very turned off by those who feel it is their duty (as a Christian) to force their beliefs upon others…be a witness through actions, testify what God has done for you…but don't tell others that they are living their lives wrong…my book says that we all are sinners…no one is perfect, as Christians we strive to follow Christ's example…but we will never get there…faith is personal…it's about how your beliefs make you feel, effects your life…and not all Christians view their walk the same…also you must remember the Bible was written by man…an atheist can use the bible to Prove that God does not exist…ones faith is what gives meaning to the words…and the word is the same…it's man's perception of it that changes. That's why religion is faith base…you will drive yourself crazy trying to prove your point to someone using the bible. You also have to think of the historical context of biblical times and remember that God made us in his image…meaning he gave us a brain…and I feel he expects us to use it.


God Bless til next time...

Sunday, November 18, 2007

New Year, Same Ol' Thang

Thanksgiving Ramblings...

Oh Boy. The holidays have begun to become a stressful time period for me. I don’t know what it is, but I always feel like a chicken running around with its head cut off around this time of year. Go get this, go do that. There are not enough hours in the day. I took vacation for Wednesday so I could sit back and relax before I start slaving in the kitchen. I have done most of my shopping for Thanksgiving dinner, but I still have some last minute items to pick up…I always like to wait to get the produce.
My sister is buying the Turkey (already smoked)...for the 2nd year in a row, we are on a wild goose chase looking for a Butterball fully cooked smoked turkey...my dad picked up the ham (which I will probably cook). I love my family, and I enjoy cooking…but it’s something about staying up all night on Wednesday so we can eat turkey the next day. But on the other hand…I will get great joy and satisfaction from cooking a scrumptious meal for my family to enjoy. I guess it’s only fair. I’m complaining and this is only my third year to cook Thanksgiving dinner…my mother did it for many years and not one complaint.

Here’s our Thanksgiving menu:
Smoked Turkey
Ham
Cornbread Dressing
Macaroni and Cheese
Broccoli, Cheese, and Rice Casserole
Yams
Mashed Potatoes
Greens
Corn on the Cob
Green Beans
Yeast Rolls

For Desert:
Peach Cobbler
Sweet Potato Pie
German Chocolate Cake (my mother is the only one that likes it, and since it is her birthday, I will hook it up).
Italian Cream Cake (maybe)
Banana Pudding (possibly, my nieces request)

I am cooking everything, but the Turkey (already cooked, just needs to be heated), yams, and sweet potato pie. Oh yeah, my sister is going to cook the greens. So, I guess it’s not that bad after all...what am I saying, yes it is. For the past two years I have been up until the wee hours of the morning prepping and baking so everyone else will enjoy a nice delicious meal. But you know that hard work is well worth it…even if it’s just for one day. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I guess the most important thing is not to loose sight of this holiday. I guess my sister refers to me as “Bah-humbug” for good reason . So I will try to stop complaining, and be thankful that I have a family to cook for.

But just one last complaint...my little greedy nieces had the nerve to say we did not have enough ham last year, so we might purchase two, meaning one more for me to have to prepare. *rolls eyes* They better learn to eat turkey.

Tis the Season...

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

I Don't Play w/Wildlife

I have been really busy these past few weeks. I have been fatigued and just not feeling too well overall. The exhaustion as been both physical and mental. I have a lot of catching up to do. I need to work on the draft of my novel…I have so many ideas, and they are coming together quite nicely….now I just hope that others appreciate my vision.

Went to a University of Texas Men's bball exhibition game with my sister and two nieces last Friday…It was fun…the game was quite boring, but my nieces enjoyed it and I enjoyed watching them. The oldest is a hyper something at sporting events…I had to tell her several times that we were not at a wrestling match and to act civilized…kinda funny coming from me, because anyone that has ever attending a sporting event with me knows that I will yell and scream at will. I scream for and at my team as well as heckle the opposition…the niece (all of age 9) also has a crush on PG DJ Augustine, so now she is really a Horns bball fan.

I don't drink, and I always end up working in environments that has company functions that revolve around alcohol. They are typically pretty boring, bordering annoying for me…drunk people are annoying. I don't mind the socializing…just would rather not deal with the drunkenness.

"Silly of me to think that I, could ever have you for my guy, how I love you…"

This song as been playing in my head for the past couple of days. The possibility of something new has me reflecting upon the past. Yeah, I still love him, but I know we don't work. We tried not once, but twice…well I tried, I don’t think he ever put an effort into anything. He is used to always getting his way, not used to hearing no. I think I was the only person in his life that did not worship at his alter. He's not a bad person, and he probably does not realize it, but he has brought a lot of good into my life. Our relationship…or lack thereof has caused me to grow…I now know what I truly want in a man…want I am willing to compromise…what I can or cannot deal with. I also have learned that I need to work on being more patient, not being so quick to fly off the handle, not being afraid to communicate my true feelings…. that in order to truly forgive, and press forward in a relationship, I must be willing and able to forget. I don't regret my past…our past…but I am SO looking forward to the future.

We have a contest going on in the office this week…the team member that produces the most gets $100 cash money…I am winning that money. LOL…I'm laughing, but I am so serious. I am also working hard to meet our quarterly goal…actually I want to exceed our goal, that means an accelerated bonus…then if we meet our stretch goal as a company Simon Mall gift cards for everyone. I work hard for the money…

I bet I am the only one that had a deer outside her office window yesterday…I was a little uneasy leaving the office yesterday evening too…I don't play with wild life.

We have an office Christmas Party on December 7th…I am probably the only one not too excited about it…I need a date…if you're interested call me.


Sunday, November 04, 2007

The Sports Salon w/ Keli and Kayos

We will go an air right after the Colts beat the Pats!







Join us this Sunday immediately folliwng the Patriots vs. Colts game. Your support is greatly appreciated! We will be discussing football, football, and more FOOTBALL!
For the streaming feed of the show click here.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Look for Less

I like designer looks, but I am not too big on designer prices. I refuse to live curb side trying to keep up with the Knowles. So I thought I would start a little something for all you other budget fashionistas.

Jimmy Choo Onele Boots -$870.00


Steve Madden Catalog- $149.95


Chloé Heloise Patent Satchel- $1,825.00

Steve Madden BBrooke- $165

Christian Louboutin Lady Gres 379 Pumps-$865.00

Steve Madden Bradley -$99.95



Sunday, October 14, 2007

K-Spot Flash Back: Lawd Help Me Now

This went down September of last year. So tell me why it's October 2007, and I feel something hard under my gum where my wisdom tooth once resided. I really hope that the fragment was taken out, and it just healed funky...I really hope he did not leave a portion of the tooth...that would not be a good thing...

Well, as those of you who visit my spot regularly know, I had the top and bottom right wisdom teeth removed last month. Juiicyscoop recently asked me “girl how are your damn teef doing”. And it reminded me of the day I had my procedure done. I have to pre-medicate (4 amoxicillin 1 hour prior to procedure) before any dental procedures, even for a routine cleaning. When I went in for my consult the Dr. gave me to scripts…one for a mouth rinse, and the other was for Vicatin. Which I never got filled. Baby’s a soldier, I don’t need the heavy duty pain killers, just give me some Ibuprofen or Tylenol. I had the prescriptions filled before my procedure because the last thing I wanted was to sit in Wal-greens and wait on a mouth rinse. I decided to go with a local anesthesia, so I drove myself to my appointment. My sister was on stand-by just in case I needed her to pick me up. I arrive at the dr.’s office, sign in, and after about a 5 min wait, they call me back. I sit in the room for a minute or two and the dr and his assistant walks in. The dr. then informs me that he wants to prescribe me more Amoxicillin to take for the next 24 hours. I already have like 24 tablets at home, so there is no need for me to go get the prescription filled. They strap me up to a machine to monitor my blood pressure, and I see the dr pick up this long azz needle. He then asks me to open up wide, and informs me that I may feel a pinch. Well, he gave me a shot on the top, then the bottom and I did not feel a pinch at all. He then leaves me and says he will come back in a few minutes and advises me to relax while the anethesia kicks in. I was lying back, just chilling, then all of a sudden, that blood pressure machine starts beeping and the strap begins to tighten, and tighten, and tighten around my arm. I wanted to scream, I was not sure if this should be happening. The strap became so tight I thought I might loose a limb, just as I was about to call out, the strap begins to release…Close call! This goes on for I don’t know how long. Just like a Dr., no perception of time, a few minutes is more like half an hour…I’m probably exaggerating but it was more than a “few” minutes. The Dr. Returns and he begins to probe around to make sure that the area to be worked on his numb. He is poking and prodding and asks “Do you feel this?” “No” I answer. So then he begins to poke and prod a little deeper. “Ouch!” “Did you feel pressure?” He asks. “No, I felt pain”. The dr. chuckles and asks the assistant to pass him another one of those long needles. He administers more anesthesia and we’re good to go. Remember sister girl is a soldier, so I did not need to be under for this…No big deal, they are only breaking my tooth from the root in order to remove it, I was awake and I was going to keep my eyes open during the entire process…Right! The dr. asks his assistant to hand him an object. All I can see is her past him this huge screw driver looking thing…then it hit me. That is a big blunt object…he is going to have to grind that into my tooth to break the root…”Lawd Jesus Help Me!” I remember calling out to Jesus, I just don’t know if I said it to myself or if I said it out loud. I was suddenly a big chicken…”cluck, cluck”. All in All things were not bad. A piece of root fragment broke off during the process of removing the bottom tooth, so he had to poke and prod around down there longer than anticipated. A couple of times he hit a nerve causing me to feel pain on the left side of my mouth, and at times the procedure caused me to feel that my head might actually pop off. “All Done”. I hear him say as he sticks gauze in my mouth and asks me to bite down gently. “Thank you Jesus!” I say. His assistant came, told me how to care for my mouth, gave me instructions, and sent me on my way. On my way out of the room, I stop and look in the mirror…why there was a mirror there I don’t know. Why did your home-girl look like a chip-munk. I so looked as if I was trying to store food for the winter…very reminiscent of Gina on that “Martin” episode…”The dr. hit a nerve with the Novocain. LOL. So I leave and go to Wal-greens to fill my anti-biotic prescription. Why I don’t know, I already had tablets left over from my pre-med prescription. I call my mother to let her know that everything was ok, and I was now on my way to Wal-greens and I would call her once I got home. I enter Wal-greens and of course people are looking at my like I am boo-boo the fool. They are probably wondering…”Is it safe to be around her”. I then have to attempt to talk to the pharmacy tech as I drop off my prescription. I decide to wait for it to be filled because I am not trying to come back later. There is a lady that is already sitting in the waiting area, and she looks at me like “Please don’t come sit by me!”. I can’t help but laugh a little bit, because I would have done the exact same thing! As I am waiting, my sister calls me to see if everything is ok, but then she begins to ask questions and try to hold a conversation…she needs to get her wisdom teeth removed, but she is too chicken…yeah, I’m talking about you. Anyone that knows me, knows that my mouth moves non-stop, however, this was a time that I was not even trying to talk. Once I get home, I take me a couple of Tylenol, b/c the anesthesia was beginning to wear off a little and went to sleep. For the first 24 hours I needed to use the cold compress to control swelling and bruising, but I was not hearing that right now…I was trying to go to sleep! So for the first 24 hours afterwards my schedule was sleep for four hours, wake up, apply cold compress, take ibuprofen, drink Slimfast, take anti-biotic, go back to sleep. The swelling went down fairly quickly and I had no bruising what so-ever. I did not develop dry sockets, and your girl is good to go!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I Love It, You Love It...

This is my current "song"...I keep listening to it over, over, and over...puts me in the gift giving mood. *wink*

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

If Only I Had A Man...

That would let me know that everything is going to be alright when I am having a rough day.
That would sit with me and talk about everything while talking about nothing.
That realizes I'm not the typical chick.
That believes me and believes in me.
That can melt me with one touch.
That thinks of me before he acts.
That understands that I am the best person to have in his corner.
That realizes I always act with him in mind.
That calls me before he goes to bed, just to hear the sound of my voice.
That wants me to be his best friend.
That asks me what I'm thinking, or how I'm feeling before drawing his own conclusions.
That would talk to me, and let me know what's on his mind.
That greets me and asks how was my day when I get home from work.
That understands I will not always agree with him...but I am always for him...never against him.
That can accept me, all of me, flaws and all.
That would offer me the world if it were his to give.
That would hug me so tightly that I get lost in his arms.
If only...

Copyright © 2007 by kelic
All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used or reproduced in without the author's consent.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Flush that Ish!




Man, kstate handed us ours. I can take a hard fought loss, but we just straight got our azz kicked. There is a lot on the line this weekend, and if anything, we should at least be playing for pride.

Why does the Yoplait container read: "May naturally support healthy digestion?" Why advertise your product might do something? You're not certain that it will, but it just might.

Well, looks like I might not be going to DFW after all. However, I am still taking my half day off from work tomorrow, because I can use some me time. Maybe things will change between now and Friday morning…then maybe they will stay the same.

I love a casual work environment. Sometimes the feet need a nice pair of sneakers…can't wear heels every day.

I need the temperature to drop a little bit, so I can pull out the boots.

Left over pasta for lunch…I really want a cheesy greasy burger and some homemade french fries. Might be my game day meal this Saturday.

It's been a couple of weekends since I've had some ice cream…might have to get me some Cold Stone this weekend.

I have made some decisions a while back, that I am still paying for today…literally.

I make my living as a professional stalker.

In an effort to reduce costs, I have been making bootleg lemonade in the office…I have a stash of concentrated lemon juice and sugar. It kinda taste like Country Time Lemonade.

I'm all about lining the toilet seat…but flush that ish when you are done...please and thank you.

...don't get it twisted...I still bleed orange! Hook'em!

'Til Gabriel blows his horn!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Can't Touch This


I've been around the world, from London to the bay…it's hammer go hammer, mc hammer, yo hammer, and the rest can go and play, Can't touch this!


Countdown to TX vs. OU! But first…We have to get through the K State game this weekend. I'm excited to see how my boys do in their first Big 12 matchup of the year.


You know, there is someone I really want to see…soon…


What goes around, comes around, what goes up, must come down…this has been in my head for some reason,.


I am looking for a pair of black round toe clunky platform pumps…if you see a pair, let me know!


Man, a shrimp po'boy would hit the spot right about now.


I really want to wear my cowboy boots tomorrow…don't know how well that will fare with this TX heat.


It's just a fantasy, yep-yep, Image in a magazine…


Yep, today is another musical tourette's day.

When you took me out, I knew were you were all about…

LinkedIn is for networking…but if people can't contact you directly without being one of your established contacts…too much work.


I don't have a MySpace page, and I don't plan on getting one either.



Texas Fight, Texas Fight
For its Texas that we love best
Give 'em hell! Give 'em hell!
Go horns go!
And it's goodbye to all the rest.
-Hook'em!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Sheek Fool, Sheek Fool!

Awwwww! This takes me back. I'm not going to say back to when. *sticks out tongue*.

Who knows what I mean when I say, "Sheek Fool, Sheek Fool".

This was the jam.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

The Sports Salon

The Sports Salon with Keli and Kayos has a new day and time...


This Sunday will be the 32nd broadcast of The Sports Salon with Keli and Kayos, sports talk for the big boys while catering to the women. Join us this Sunday between the hours of 5 to 7 pm CST. Your support is greatly appreciated! We will be discussing football, football, and more FOOTBALL!


For the streaming feed of the show click here.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

It's On!

vs

It's official football is finally here! NCAA kicked off last week, and tonight begins the beginning of NFL regular season play. Kick off is at 8:30 pm EST, on NBC.

Are you watching? I know I will be! I need Deuce to have a good game.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Happy Labor Day!

I asked a friend what his plans were this labor day holiday, and he said "To try not to labor." Sounds like a good plan to me. So don't work too hard out there, and I thought I'd give you some music to party to at the bbq. Whatcha got, Spades or Gin Rummy?

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Are you ready for some football?!

I am! I was so ready for the University of Texas opener against Arkansas State. I went and bought my new game day shirt…I was ready for game day. Then I discovered, the game was not going to be televised…no Big 12 network affiliate was willing to pick the game up. So, it would have to be ordered for $29.95. So I called my friend to ask what she was going to do for the game. She said she might call some other friends see if they wanted to come over, and she would order the game. Or, she mentioned going to Pluckers to watch the game…ok, Pluckers I can do. Then, I call my sister and ask her what she was going to do for the game. She did not realize it was ppv either. So, we decided we would order the game and I would go in half with her. But…she later realized that she had to meet with her group for class at 6:30 and would not be home. After this revelation, I talked to another friend, who had a ticket to go, but decided against it. Said friend, has a friend that has season tickets because her mother is UT faculty. But this is the killer…said friend's, friend could care less about football, probably even more less about UT football, but she’s a season ticket holder. This ish burns me up. For some folks it’s about status…”Oh, I have season tickets”. Ask them anything about the game, and or the team, and they could not tell you JACK! Anyway, so I resolved to staying home, and listening to the game. I did not feel like being bothered with people out in public. Especially drunken people. Then, a friend of mind decides to give me a hard time, talkin’ bout I am not a true fan. So then, I felt a little guilty. So, I call my sister and have her call the brother –in-law (yeah, he’s not into football like me and the sis are), to see if it was ok if I ordered the game (Yeah, I’m cheap and I don’t have cable…yeah, yeah, yeah…I know). So, I get in the car, drive over to their place, and my nieces are watching Disney in the living room. I inform them that they will have to watch TV in their parents room (apparently they don’t have cable in their bedroom) because I was going to watch the football game. So, I turn it onto one pay per view channel (that I read was for the UT game), and there was another game listed, so I go up to the next channel, and there is a black screen. Next thing I know, South Florida vs. Who in the hell knows, game was on. So, I immediately call Time Warner to cancel this game, and make sure they would not be billed for it. I dial 512-485-5555, and the first thing I hear is, “If you want to order the TX game, go to channel…401”. “401, I thought…yeah, that’s not the channel that was advertised, either that or I can’t read”. So, I punch all the magic numbers to get to customer service, and hear, “Your call has been placed in queue for the next customer service representative”.
“Ok, how long is this going to be I think to myself”. Then I hear a ring and a recording comes on, letting me know there will be an hour to an hour and sixteen minute wait, and prompts me to enter my phone number for a call back. So I enter my sister’s number and I wait. Then here was my dilemma…it was not my account, so I did not want to go ahead and order the UT game, before ensuring that the other game was not being charged. So now, I am frustrated and beyond disappointed. I decided to go home, and then I called in again, to leave my home phone number. I chat for bit on IM, then I decided to go to Which Wich? To get me a shrimp po’boy, which was pretty good for $5.14. Anyhoo, so I leave, come back, start eating, and low and behold, Time Warner calls me back. It took the representative a minute to locate the account, for some reason phone number and address did not work for her…so she had to search by name. Then she informed me, that it did not appear that any games had been ordered and that there was glitch with the system. So two hours later, I realized…”I should have just ordered the game.”. Yes, I missed the Longhorn season opener.  Good thing is was not a good game, it was almost a bad game…we only beat Arkansas State by a TD. The final score was 21-13. Oh well, a win is a win. We just better be ready for TCU next week! My universe is off because I was not able to watch the game yesterday. I don't care what I have to do, I will NOT miss next week's game. Hook’em!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

You're It!

Well actually I'm it! Thanks to my girl Patrice.

I was TAGGED..


So I guess I have to tell y'all my business now. This is the only way she could get me to post two days in a row, lol.


Accent: I guess to some I have a southern twang.

I don't drink: any alcoholic beverages

Pets: No thank you! Animals are meant to be outdoors, and even then I don't want them too close to me.

Essential Electronics: My cordless phone…yep, I said cordless not cell (I can do without a cell on most days), and my pc, and my vacuum cleaner. I have even been known to vacuum the kitchen floor.


Perfume: None, I am allergic to most fragrances. Right now I have some vanilla scented perfume oil from The Body Shop.


Gold or Silver: Gold…yellow gold…it compliments my undertones nicely. Silver tones make me look ashy.


Insomnia: Sometimes…I was up until almost 2 o'clock this morning reading a book I don't even really find that interesting.


Job Title: Recruiting Associate


Most Admired Trait: My strength


Kids: Maybe, however, my nieces always say that they are like my children…so I guess I have two, lol.

Religion: Christened Catholic, Raised Non-denominational, was a member of a full-gospel fellowship when I graduated HS, and I am currently a member of a Baptist fellowship. With all that being said…I identify myself as Christian. For me it is more about spirituality, God's word than religious doctrines.

Siblings: Yes…only one that I really claim. My younger sister Kasey.

Time I Wake Up: This morning…6:25 am

Unusual Talent/Skill: None that I can think of…I guess I am pretty ordinary.

Veggie I refuse to eat: Most…I don't like cooked vegetables period, unless its corn.

Worst Habit: Not exercising consistently


X-Rays: Dental

Favorite Meal: Fried shrimp, baked potato, gumbo, and a side salad...with a scoop of bluebell homemade vanilla ice cream for dessert, yum!

Kayos...you're it!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Tree Bark Fiber Cookies

After biting into the most disquieting granola bar…it was like oats rolled in honey…I decided to browse the net for a nice delicious homemade granola bar recipe. Well, one common ingredient in all bars was, oatmeal…however, I did not see any granola present in any of the recipes. So after careful consideration…yeah, I put some thought into this…I decided to make some oatmeal cookies. Then, I had to take inventory before going to the store…flour? No, sugar? No, oatmeal…hell to the no. I only eat oatmeal if it’s in a cookie…a homemade cookie with no raisins. Anyhoo…I thought to myself, do I really want to buy oatmeal and flour to make some oatmeal cookies. I mean they are not even my favorite cookies. And why oatmeal do you ask…well…I am trying to increase the amount of fiber in my diet…oatmeal is a good source of fiber right? Well once I got to the store I decided I was not about to spend that much money on making some cookies. So I did the unthinkable...I picked up bag Betty Crocker oatmeal cookie mix. I looked at the back of the package to see what I needed…eggs…got that…butter…got that…and water…I think I can manage. So I get home, I heat my oven to 375 degrees, and I am ready to get my bake on. I set the stick of margarine (yeah, I used margarine, though it would be healthier than butter) earlier so it was ready to go. I put the margarine in the bowl, then I open up the mix and begin to pour. WTH?! There are big black chunks in the mix. “I’m about to get paid!” I pick up a chunk to inspect…”Yep, I think I might have grounds for a law suit?” is all I can think…someone at Betty Crocker done lost their dang mind…and put some tree bark in the cookies. I’m on the phone with my girl Keshia, and I ask
“Should my oatmeal mix contain tree bark?”
“Ummm, I don’t think so?”
“Ok, this is a mess…let me call my mom”
So I dial my mama’s number and get her voice mail.
“Mama, this is Keli, please give me a call as soon as you get this message?”
Then I call my friend Stephanie.
She calls me back and I am now on the phone with Keshia again
“Girl?! I was calling to ask you why I have treebark in my oatmeal cookie mix. What ingredient could that possibly be?”
“I don’t know?”
“Ok, I’m on the phone with Keshia…I will call you back”
I even hit up a friend on IM asking “Should my oatmeal cookie mix contain treebark”
“What da hell!?” is his response.
“Oh, I guess not…”
So then, I dig in the trash (yes, I reached in the trash) to look at the back of the package to see the list of ingredients…
…Cinnamon…is cinnamon’s original form tree bark? I pick up one of the pieces of bark and smell it…it smelled kinda like cinnamon…then I lick it…it tastes kinda like cinnamon. So then, I run it under water, and the water running of it turns red.
So then I had to go to Google…cinnamon…according to Wikipedia is a form of evergreen.
Hot mess! Why would Betty Crocker put whole tree bark in the cookie mix?! Don’t most people grind cinnamon or shave it from the bark..or whatever process they use to get the cinnamon in a form that does not look like a damn piece of wood in a cookie. Hot mess indeed! So did Betty Crocker expect me to eat pieces of tree trunk. Hot mess! But…once I found out the tree bark was safe…I discarded the trunks, stirred in my walnuts, and continued baking my fiber cookies.

Friday, August 24, 2007

K-Spot Flashback

Originally posted a year ago today...The crazy thing is this is a true story. I could not have made this up if I tried...

The craziest thing happened Monday evening, and I completely forgot about it until I woke up this morning. By now I am sure that most have heard (or at least heard of) the phone call from Samuel L. Jackson promoting his movie “Snakes on a Plane”. Well, this weekend I sent the message to every that I knew…except my mother. The following are the reasons that I thought she would find it offensive:

1. He says the word damn.
2. It’s about “Snakes on a Plane”, and snakes are evil. Satan appeared in the form of a serpent to tempt Eve.
3. He says “For God’s Sake” Oooohh, that is the ultimate no-no, we do not use God’s name in vain.

Well, I went against my better judgment and sent the message to my mother this past Monday around 6pm. She missed the call and called me back an hour later (without checking her vm) to see if I had called her. I told her “No, it was somebody else, you should have a message”. She let me know that she will check her message and I told her I will call her later. Well, I thought the fact that I told her that someone else called and should have left her a message was clue enough that I had something to do with all this. Not too mention that my cell phone number is the number that displayed as the missed called. Well, I was leaving Target at 10pm and I decided to check with Momma to see if she received her call. She answers her phone in a very frantic voice “Keli (pronounced key-lee) I can’t talk right now, momma will have to call you back” and hangs up the phone. I am thinking to myself, “Ok that was strange, what is going on there”. Being that I found her behavior to be odd I called right back. “Keli Vernee (pronounced ver-nay) momma can’t talk right now, let me call you back”. At this point, I am really nervous and wondering what the heck is up (being that we don’t reside in the same city).

Well…

My mother calls me back about 15mins later and the conversation went something like this.
“Did you send me some crazy message from a computer?”
I start laughing and say “Yes, it was a message from Samuel…” Before I could get the rest out I hear…
“That was not funny. I just left the police station, I took my phone to the cops to let them here that message because I did not know what was going on. I thought it was a death threat. That man knew that I was in Pharmaceuticals, he knew that I wore glasses, and he even called my car a tin can (she drives a 1994 Maxima)”.
I am like geeking for real, and asked “Did you listen to the entire message?”
“Yes, I did listen to the entire message, and he said that I will kill you”.
“Did you not hear him say, “Pick up your Daughter, Keli”.
Yes, but he said Kelly, and your name is Keli, so that threw me off even more".
“Momma I’m sorry” trying to hold back my laughter, “ I did not mean to scare you”.
I then hear my dad yelling in the background “That shit wasn’t funny!”
“Momma, I’m sorry, I did not realize that it would scare you. I sent it to several people (including aunts and uncles) and they all seemed to think it was hilarious”.
“Well, it was not, and the police officer thought it was funny too. He had a little smirk on his face when he informed me that it was for a movie”.
“What did he say” I asked.
“He said, “Ma’am, that is Samuel L. Jackson talking about his movie, Snakes on a Plane”.
My Dad was initially defending my mom, but then I hear him give his final two cents.
“You should have known that is was Keli with that crazy shit, who else would do something like that.”
At this point I can not help but laugh out loud.
“Momma you need to calm down, you are just too high strung”.
“Did you just call you mother high strung!”
And on that note, she was mad. I think I have just solidified my position as the bad daughter. I called her Tuesday morning to make sure she was not still mad, and to try and make up if she was. She informed me that she was never angry with me, she just did not find it funny. She also said that next time something like this happens, she will call me first, before jumping to conclusions. I then informed her that there will not be a next time, that she has been removed from the send list. My dad was mad as hell…he was the one that had to drive her to the police station, and he does not deal with the po-po’s.

I had noooo idea that a joke would turn into a terror alert code red.

Friday, August 10, 2007

I Rock!


My girl Patrice was named a Rockin Girl Blogger (and rightfully so!). So in turn, she had to name 5 Rockin Girl Bloggers, and yours truly made the cut. Now, Patrice would be on my list, but no need…she’s already secured her spot…knitter, artist, hair stylist, and now entrepreneur…check out Paige Turners…she indeed is rockin it! So now that I have the honor, I would like to bestow the same upon my Top 5 Rockin Girl Bloggers:


Erica B-This rocking girl blogger and mother of 3 is anything but your typical soccer mom. She is one talented seamstress that embodies class, sophistication and style. Want to see how it’s supposed to be done…Visit Erica and take a look at her DIY Styles.

Kayos-Her mind if full of just that…but don’t be fooled, her blog posts are very interesting and thoughtful. My partner in crime on The Sports Salon, Kayos always has the latest news and updates in the world of sports.

Mizz Write-What can I say? Writer…Publisher? Mizz Write has it going on! If you have not checked out her blog, I suggest you do so ASAP so you can see what this talented rockin girl blogger is all about.

Invisible Woman-I discovered her blog not too long ago after she left me a message on my myblog profile page. This funky and fresh rockin girl blogger provides a new prospective on black art… black cinema. Her blog celebrates our culture, while illustrating the relevance of black cinema of both yesterday and today. I suggest you check her out.

Juiicy Scoop-Need the newest in celebrity news and gossip…hit up Juiicy. You know I had to shout out my fellow southern gal (Even though she is an Oklahoma State Cowgirl), one of the trillest chicks in blogland (next to myself of course) not too mention that I find her quite hilarious.