Thought For The Day

Sometimes those who choose to walk in your shadow are actually keeping you from shining. The forecast shifts from sunny to cloudy then all of a sudden the shadow disappears, it's hard to tell where you end and they begin…which is exactly what they want.

-KeliC

Should I trust my gut?

Do I trust my heart or do I trust my head?

Both of them are pretty cloudy right now, and I don’t know what’s real, what’s the truth, what’s an embellishment, and what’s an outright lie.

Should I trust my gut? Well right now my gut is twisted in knots; I want to go with what she is telling me, but what if I am hearing her wrong? I think my heart is confusing things. I always want to give people the benefit of the doubt…but when I start to doubt you, it takes a lot to overcome that. Meaning, I will distance myself from you. Our interaction will be on an as needed basis… few and far between.

Truly, it takes me years to get to the level that I trust someone enough to regard them as family. My best friend, I’ve known her for years, we have been friends for 15 years, but I would say that it’s been the past 9 years that I really started to look at her not as my friend, but as my sister.

Meeting new people can be great, making new friends could be even better…but you only get what people are willing to give. And sometimes what you get is not the truth, it’s a facade, it’s make believe…then as the truth begins to reveal itself, you truly start to question the person in front of you…are they who they claim to be? Can I trust them to be my friend? Should I keep them as an associate? Am I reading too much into things? Am I not reading enough into the situation?

All I know is if the thought of not having you in my life makes me sad…then I need…no, I want you in my life…Otherwise…well…peace.

I have been uncharacteristically passive…but that is about to stop. The gloves are now off, no holds barred. If I’m looking at you sideways and crooked…trust me, you will know it.

Some people truly live in a fantasy world. You don’t have to lie to make yourself look better in my sight. If people cannot accept you for who you are, they are not worth it. And if you can’t come to me as you are, then you are not worth my time. I am starting to believe that some people have a hard time recognizing the different between fantasy and reality. I have one of the wildest imaginations, but when the cloud pops, I can shift back into reality. Sometimes my fantasies make my reality seem dull...but I know the different all the same. I think that we sometimes blur the lines between the two, because we don't want to deal with our own reality.

At least be able to admit when you are at fault…If you are always in the right, or always lay the blame on others…well…it makes it hard to trust you. I can at least respect you if you can admit that you made a mistake.

I think my problem might be that I am always expecting folks to do me dirty, and then when they do, I am like ah-ha! I know, I know, I know…so not fair.

I just want to end this by saying, “Two tears in a bucket!”

I think it's clear now.

Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

January 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968

I am at work today...I found it a fitting way to honor the man that sacrificed his life so that I could be afforded better opportunities.

How are you honoring Dr. King? How should we honor Dr. King? Well, I think that our every day actions should be a testament to his work...we should appreciate what we have...the education we have received, the jobs that we work...the "little" things...because once you stop and reflect from where we have come as a people...the little things don't seem so little after all.

Let me be the first to tell you…

Things are not always what they seem

What is done in the dark, will soon come to light

It’s time for you to be held accountable

Accountable for your actions, for the part that you play in your troubles

You always want to look to the outside…

Why don’t you try to look within?

Look on the inside to the root of the problem.

Look to yourself to begin to find a solution

See…I only know what I see

And there is apparently more to this than meets the eye

What I see is someone trying to cover up

But just what are you hiding is what I ask?

No, I am not saying that you are the only one not without fault…

Yet, you seem to think that you are the only one that has done no wrong.

Well…

Let me be the first to tell you…

Your roses smell pretty shitty.

Copyright © 2007 by kelic
All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used or reproduced in without the author's consent.

Hate - Anger - Love

You ask?
What would make me want to kill a man?
I will tell you…
Looking at a man’s eyes red with anger and rage, so full of hate that I fear for my life…
That would make me want to end his.
Knowing that a man is so selfish that he would sacrifice his family’s safety…so selfish that he only acts for self, regardless of the consequences.
Witnessing a man steal from his children…not caring if they go without…
Watching a man strike my mother
Watching a man strike his daughter
Watching a man strike his wife
Feeling a man strike me
What would make me want to kill a man?
I will do anything to protect mine…even sacrifice myself
I am strong, come after me…but no, you prey on the weak.
When I look at you I see a nothing…
You are a worthless piece of nothing.
You are not worthy of the air you breathe
What would make me want to kill a man…
HATE, ANGER…
But most importantly, LOVE
The love I have for myself, the love I have for my family
Thank God for love…
Because Love saved your life.
Now I just pray for this cycle to be broken

Copyright © 2007 by kelic
All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used or reproduced in without the author's consent.

Bump a T-Pain

This is what I'm talking 'bout!

Bounce Wit Me

Not too much to say right now…just wanted to tell everyone hello.

Cuz every time I close my eyes I think of you…

This song has been playing in my head (on repeat) today.

Today has been a long day…seems like I have been at work longer than 5 hours, and I stepped out to run a quick errand this morning…5pm could not get here soon enough today.

I’m looking for a real-time architect…know anyone?! Holla at me!

Thank God for friends willing to help you during hard times…also Thank God for those people who try to kick you while you are down, because they only make you stronger…hey, it’s good to have haters…then you know you’re doing something right.

And yes…there is a difference between hating and telling the truth…you hate, I tell the truth.

If you are not happy with your current situation, work to change it…otherwise, I don’t want to hear your complaining.

It’s crazy how your body gets addicted to ish…I have significantly reduced my caffeine intake…switched to decaf tea, drink Hershey Goodnight Kisses cocoa which is 99.9% fat free (still trying to figure this one out), and I have not had a coke in a minute…well that was until I bought one this afternoon…had a horrible headache, seems the caffeine is the only thing that will do the trick.

Can I Get A, by Jay Z is playing in my office right now…and yes I started bouncing when it came on...bounce wit me, wit me, wit me...

I’m looking for an event manager…know anyone?! Again, holla at me.

Forget the gym…I am going ol school with my workout plan. I went running yesterday…boy am I outta shape, I was sucking down some wind big time…but I did a lot better than I originally expected…and I was running up and down a steep hill. Not sure of the distance or the time I ran…I pretty much keep going until I felt like I was moving in slow motion. Happy to say, I am not at all sore today. Now, talk to me after I do my push ups this evening…that will be a completely different story.

I need a pair of jeans.

Should I go to NBA All-Star in New Orleans in Feb?

Speaking of New Orleans, a shrimp po’boy and a side of gumbo sounds yummy!

My pc has the dreaded blue screen…I am going to try to repair the OS…let’s pray this works.

And that’s all I got to say about that.

You

I cannot go back, all I can do is go forward
There are so many things I want to erase, so many words I need to say
Where do I begin?
How do I begin?
I have had a glimpse of life with out you, and it is a reality that I do not want
What exactly does this mean, I do not know
I do know, that you are important to me, and I want you in my life
Sometimes you get use to someone, something
You get in a routine, and you just assume that things will always remain
I guess that was my mistake
Things are different. Things have changed. Things might not ever be the same.
I hope not…
I hope for a future with you
I hope to share my dreams and aspirations with you
I hope that you can look pass my faults and see my needs
See that I need you
Sometimes I get a bit beside myself
I lose control of my senses and let my emotions take control
For that, I apologize…
It is unfair for me to expect you to think or feel the way that I do
Is it wrong of me to ask you to let me in?
Let me in on what you are feeling…
Allow me to share those feelings, be it good or bad
I am up for the challenge
I know the road ahead will not always be easy
What is easy is not always what is best
Some things have changed, but one thing still remains
I feel the same way for you today, as I did yesterday
My first thought when I wake up is still you
My last thought before I go to bed is still you
Sometimes I hold back, and not show exactly how I feel
I have worked so long to protect my feelings
The walls we build around us are so much easier to put up than they are to tear down
Sometimes it is hard for me to show you exactly how I feel
Sometimes I have a hard time articulating my thoughts
It seems the more I say, the more cloudy the sky becomes
I can see the sun rising on the horizon, and I know that great things are to come
I have allowed myself to breathe, and now I have clarity
It is clear what I want…
I want your arms to hold me.
I want your lips to kiss me.
I want your smile to welcome me.
I want your voice to whisper to me.
I want…
You.

Copyright © 2007 by kelic
All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used or reproduced in without the author's consent.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2...

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' auld lang syne

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

What exactly does all this mean...and why has it become the New Years anthem?

What are my plans...to do absolutely nothings, nada, zilch, zero! I plan to stay in and relax...will not be surprised if I don't bring in the new year alseep.

2007 was good, but I am expecting 2008 to be great!

Happy New Year Everyone!

Fellas Watch Out!

It's getting hard to tell the difference between an original and a fake...

This Christmas...

When we were little, and we knew we were not going to get what we wanted for Christmas...my sister and I would sing...

And this Christmas, will be
A very scimpy Chrismtas for me

And this Christmas will just be another day...

Yeah...we have so lost sight of the meaning of what tomorrow truly means.

At age 12 I decided that I was against the commercializatin of the holiday, and was against decorating or exchanging gifts....but my then 8yrd old sister was not hearing that.

Somewhere along the way, Christ has been forgotten. For me Christmas is a time to share and celebrate family. This Christmas will be the first that I will spend without my mother...she had to work. So, I just might head her way for New Years...maybe.

I did not buy one Christmas present this year. I just have not been in the mood...I told my nieces to catch me after Christmas...

I am baking a lemon cake and making a banana pudding for tomorrow...yum. I am also bringing the baked mac & cheese...let's pray my sister does not mess up the ham.

But back to the reason for the seaon...Jesus is the reason, and I thank him. As a Christian I celebrate Christ...there is no Xmas here...

But I do think that O Holy Night as sung by Eric Cartman says it all...

Jesus was born, and so I get presents...

It's Jesus' birthday we are celebrating...so why do we deserve to receive anything?



Happy Christmakwanzaakah...

Ah Bah-humbug to that...

Merry Christmas!

You Ain't Hitting in NY

Man, I my thighs are sore and my back is stiff. Why? Because I thought it was a good idea to visit my HS days and dance like Hammer. I was spending time with the nieces...um...babysitting actually...and they brought along some entertainment for the day. Well, after a couple of hours of the HS Musical 2 soundtrack and Hannah Montana, I thought I was going to loose my mind. Before I took the youngsters' cd's and destroyed them with my bare hands as I cried out in pain...I decided to take matters in my own hands and provide the entertainment myself. So, I went to old trusty youtube, and we begin to watch old MJ vid's...I'm talking Rock Witcha and Thriller. Even threw in a little Say, Say, Say because the oldest asked me who was Paul McCartney. Well, this led to my nieces saying that MJ was the best dancer, than Usher. I said "Don't forget to throw Hammer in the Mix", and they responded "MC Hammer?!", with puzzled looks on their faces. I forget, the only Hammer they know of is from the Nation Wide and Potato Chip commercials, lol. So, I had to show them how to Turn This Mutha Out...and I am regretting it 24hrs later. I guess I need to hit the gym, lol.

Rejected

Over and Over in My mind
I hear these lines…
Silly of me, to think that I
Would ever have you for my guy…Yeah…silly of me…
To believe you, when you said, you liked me
I once said that I did not think I measured up to your standards
Your response…
How could you NOT know you are the highest measure?
Yeah, now I know you were feeding me a line
But see…to me…
That was real, it was my reality
Because for me, you set the bar
Funny how quickly things can change
The same man that gave me hugs and kisses, told me he missed me
Know disregards my presence, ignores my questions, treats me with disrespect
The same man who played the role…you know…
“I think I might get hurt because I will end up liking you more…”
Yeah, well…guess who ended up hurt.
I stopped looking once I found you...
Yet you continuously looked past me
I said I would not cry, but it’s easier said than done…
Because although you’ve forgotten me, you’re still with me
You’re in my thoughts, and you haunt my dreams
But as much as I am hurting right now, I have to press on
Time does not stand still, life moves on…regardless of what’s going on.
I think to myself…
Weeping only endures for the night…
For now, I’m rejected
But it was to be expected
See I’m Loving, Giving
And some just can’t handle it…
They are scared to be loved
Don’t know what’s it’s like to be loved
And I have just accepted
That with these types…
I will always be rejected.

Copyright © 2007 by kelic
All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used or reproduced in without the author's consent.

You're A Mean One

I have been snacking on almonds and sipping on PowerAde all day…wonder why my feet are a bit swollen.

All I want for Christmas is…well, there are a lot of things I would like to receive…but as bloated as I feel right now (see above), I will gladly take a couple of pairs of Spanx.

I am ready for the holidays, so I can get a much needed break.

I went to the nieces choir concert earlier this week…it was a hot mess. You know, I actually had a pretty good music education by the time I was her age. I started playing the trumpet at age 8 and at age 9 I was learning proper vocal techniques…Ms. Ruthstrom did not play. But these poor guides, are being poorly taught and misguided. All I could do was *smh*, did not even find it cute or touching. They were singing without opening their mouths…monotone and lifeless. It was pretty painful. Thank you elementary school music teachers…this is something I later have to come along and correct as a vocal coach…speaking of…I need to get back into the groove. Wonder how talentless individuals could be so disillusioned that they actually think they have a chance of being the next American Idol…attend an elementary choir concert…it all starts somewhere.

I have been a bit of a funk…work stuff, boy-girl stuff, money stuff…just stuff! I have so much I want to do, and right now I have limited resources. I have a couple of deals that need to go through at the office…I've done all that I can to get them to close…fingers are crossed and prayers have gone up! Now with the boy-girl stuff, there is nothing that I really can do. I get no response, I get frustrated, he gets annoyed, I snap…I mean…what can a girl do? Sometimes you need a little reassurance…and if not, you have to go with your gut.

I am wearing a pair of clunky Steve Madden (man shoes) that I bought back in 1995…I can't believe I still have them, I am constantly throwing things away… and they are in good shape.

I made red beans & rice, mac & cheese, and cornbread last night...then I did not want to eat it once it was done. I did eat a little bit, and I have plenty of left-overs, anyone want to come over for dinner tonight?

I really need it to be the weekend. I need to get some much needed rest and relaxation. I was awake with my thoughts for most of last night, and to my surprise the monkey has not jumped on my back yet. However, I plan to go to bed early and without interruptions tonight. As an e-d friend of mine put it…worrying will kill you…and I am not ready to die!

My co-worker played my song today (as she calls it)…You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch….

Christmas-Christmas time is here…Bah-Humbug!

Move

I absolutely love me some Jr. Gong!

He is one of my favorite current artist and I find him extremly sexy.

Here is the video for my favorite Damien Marley song, Move. The, Exodus Sample is fire! Nice way to pay homage to his father.

Me Myself & I

I'm not only a fan...I'm the club president.

Yep...I am a grown azz woman who proudly admits she loves her some Bey, and this is one of my fav's.

My Thanksgiving...

was nice…spent a lot of time with the family and hate all the turkey, ham, and dessert I could stand.

Then there was Friday…we played TX a&m, and loss…for the second straight year in a row! Ridiculous! Then my Tennessee titans got drugged by their helmets by Cincinnati…the Bengals? Who loses to the Bengals? And they did not just lose…they got theirs handed to them…by the Bengals?! Let's just say I have had a rough time in regards to football. So much so that I vowed not to watch any this week…easier said than done…I will watch the Titans next week (if it's televised in my area), and I will watch the Longhorns play in another Alamo Bowl…or Thrifty Car Rental Bowl…or Holiday Bowl…whatever Bowl it will not be the Fiesta Bowl…grrr (grits teeth). And now I have to root for the sooners…I always go for the Big 12 South team in the championship game…and I want OU to kick Mizzou's azz!

You now…I was off work for 5 days and I don't feel rested at all. I actually complained about having to come into the office today, but you know…I should give thanks…some people wish they had a job to go to…I really don't have a reason to complain…my life is pretty good…I have been blessed.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, I am craving everything but Thanksgiving day food…I wanted tacos on Friday, ate leftovers instead…craved seafood on Saturday, ate leftovers instead…had the taste for pizza yesterday, had left overs instead…I am NOT eating anything else related to Thanksgiving for a while.

Now it's time to get ready for Christmas…I'm shopping for two people age 8 and 9…and they are pretty easy to please…other than that…BA-HUMBUG!

I am a Christian…but…as a Christian I am very turned off by those who feel it is their duty (as a Christian) to force their beliefs upon others…be a witness through actions, testify what God has done for you…but don't tell others that they are living their lives wrong…my book says that we all are sinners…no one is perfect, as Christians we strive to follow Christ's example…but we will never get there…faith is personal…it's about how your beliefs make you feel, effects your life…and not all Christians view their walk the same…also you must remember the Bible was written by man…an atheist can use the bible to Prove that God does not exist…ones faith is what gives meaning to the words…and the word is the same…it's man's perception of it that changes. That's why religion is faith base…you will drive yourself crazy trying to prove your point to someone using the bible. You also have to think of the historical context of biblical times and remember that God made us in his image…meaning he gave us a brain…and I feel he expects us to use it.

God Bless til next time...

New Year, Same Ol' Thang

Thanksgiving Ramblings...

Oh Boy. The holidays have begun to become a stressful time period for me. I don’t know what it is, but I always feel like a chicken running around with its head cut off around this time of year. Go get this, go do that. There are not enough hours in the day. I took vacation for Wednesday so I could sit back and relax before I start slaving in the kitchen. I have done most of my shopping for Thanksgiving dinner, but I still have some last minute items to pick up…I always like to wait to get the produce.
My sister is buying the Turkey (already smoked)...for the 2nd year in a row, we are on a wild goose chase looking for a Butterball fully cooked smoked turkey...my dad picked up the ham (which I will probably cook). I love my family, and I enjoy cooking…but it’s something about staying up all night on Wednesday so we can eat turkey the next day. But on the other hand…I will get great joy and satisfaction from cooking a scrumptious meal for my family to enjoy. I guess it’s only fair. I’m complaining and this is only my third year to cook Thanksgiving dinner…my mother did it for many years and not one complaint.

Here’s our Thanksgiving menu:
Smoked Turkey
Ham
Cornbread Dressing
Macaroni and Cheese
Broccoli, Cheese, and Rice Casserole
Yams
Mashed Potatoes
Greens
Corn on the Cob
Green Beans
Yeast Rolls

For Desert:
Peach Cobbler
Sweet Potato Pie
German Chocolate Cake (my mother is the only one that likes it, and since it is her birthday, I will hook it up).
Italian Cream Cake (maybe)
Banana Pudding (possibly, my nieces request)

I am cooking everything, but the Turkey (already cooked, just needs to be heated), yams, and sweet potato pie. Oh yeah, my sister is going to cook the greens. So, I guess it’s not that bad after all...what am I saying, yes it is. For the past two years I have been up until the wee hours of the morning prepping and baking so everyone else will enjoy a nice delicious meal. But you know that hard work is well worth it…even if it’s just for one day. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I guess the most important thing is not to loose sight of this holiday. I guess my sister refers to me as “Bah-humbug” for good reason . So I will try to stop complaining, and be thankful that I have a family to cook for.

But just one last complaint...my little greedy nieces had the nerve to say we did not have enough ham last year, so we might purchase two, meaning one more for me to have to prepare. *rolls eyes* They better learn to eat turkey.

Tis the Season...

I Don't Play w/Wildlife

I have been really busy these past few weeks. I have been fatigued and just not feeling too well overall. The exhaustion as been both physical and mental. I have a lot of catching up to do. I need to work on the draft of my novel…I have so many ideas, and they are coming together quite nicely….now I just hope that others appreciate my vision.

Went to a University of Texas Men's bball exhibition game with my sister and two nieces last Friday…It was fun…the game was quite boring, but my nieces enjoyed it and I enjoyed watching them. The oldest is a hyper something at sporting events…I had to tell her several times that we were not at a wrestling match and to act civilized…kinda funny coming from me, because anyone that has ever attending a sporting event with me knows that I will yell and scream at will. I scream for and at my team as well as heckle the opposition…the niece (all of age 9) also has a crush on PG DJ Augustine, so now she is really a Horns bball fan.

I don't drink, and I always end up working in environments that has company functions that revolve around alcohol. They are typically pretty boring, bordering annoying for me…drunk people are annoying. I don't mind the socializing…just would rather not deal with the drunkenness.

"Silly of me to think that I, could ever have you for my guy, how I love you…"

This song as been playing in my head for the past couple of days. The possibility of something new has me reflecting upon the past. Yeah, I still love him, but I know we don't work. We tried not once, but twice…well I tried, I don’t think he ever put an effort into anything. He is used to always getting his way, not used to hearing no. I think I was the only person in his life that did not worship at his alter. He's not a bad person, and he probably does not realize it, but he has brought a lot of good into my life. Our relationship…or lack thereof has caused me to grow…I now know what I truly want in a man…want I am willing to compromise…what I can or cannot deal with. I also have learned that I need to work on being more patient, not being so quick to fly off the handle, not being afraid to communicate my true feelings…. that in order to truly forgive, and press forward in a relationship, I must be willing and able to forget. I don't regret my past…our past…but I am SO looking forward to the future.

We have a contest going on in the office this week…the team member that produces the most gets $100 cash money…I am winning that money. LOL…I'm laughing, but I am so serious. I am also working hard to meet our quarterly goal…actually I want to exceed our goal, that means an accelerated bonus…then if we meet our stretch goal as a company Simon Mall gift cards for everyone. I work hard for the money…

I bet I am the only one that had a deer outside her office window yesterday…I was a little uneasy leaving the office yesterday evening too…I don't play with wild life.

We have an office Christmas Party on December 7th…I am probably the only one not too excited about it…I need a date…if you're interested call me.

The Sports Salon w/ Keli and Kayos

We will go an air right after the Colts beat the Pats!







Join us this Sunday immediately folliwng the Patriots vs. Colts game. Your support is greatly appreciated! We will be discussing football, football, and more FOOTBALL!
For the streaming feed of the show click here.