Cause it's Friday…

you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do…

One of my favorite movies of all time…yes, I am woman enough to admit it…don’t front…you know you have watched this ish over and over too. Chris Tucker made this movie…the others have just not quite hit the mark…I love me some Katt Williams (yes I have a crush on the leprechaun pimp…I just have a thing for men that can make me laugh…I guess…), but even he could not make Friday After Next worth watching over and over and over…

I do have a job…but I decided to take off this Friday…I am debating just how accessible I am going to make myself today…Do I want to return emails? Should I call candidates if they show interest? What do I do…I mean, I did take vacay…not a work from home day…so I guess I have my answer.

I really don’t have ish to do today…I originally was going to go home for the holiday weekend, but I’ve been a bit under the weather…last week was rough, this week was recovery…and I now have a ticket to the Texas season opener against Florida Atlantic (hook’em)…they will be retiring my boy VY’s jersey before the game…I only came up on one ticket…thanks Tim…but I don’t mind going to the game by myself...it’s a football game, although going alone, I will not be alone. I am so excited football season is really here. Now I have to call my cousin and tell her I will not be making the trek to Brazoria County this weekend…I am sure she will be disappointed…yet she will forgive me…I am such the prodigal daughter…I can’t tell you the last time I went home…oh yes, I can…It was in July…I rode back home with my sister to pick up my nieces from my mom’s…it was a turnaround trip…I see my parents all the time, they love coming to Austin…it’s the rest of the family I have not seen since 2005…oh well…

Have a happy Friday and enjoy your holiday…if you 'que for Labor Day, send some my way. *chunks deuce*

Tip'n on 4-4's

She didn’t tag me…but I was told that I had to do it anyway…because she meant to tag me, lol.

And this one is easy enough, and will give me an updated blog posting…so here goes…

Four placees I go to over and over:

1. The office

2. HEB Grocery

3. My sister’s house

4. The gas station (shame that the gym did not make this list)

Four people who e-mail me (regularly):

1. Patrice

2. SDM

3. Timothy

4. Millie

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. Houston

2. DC

3. Miami

4. Vegas

Four TV shows/programs that I watch over and over:

1. The Hills

2. Making the Band

3. What Not to Wear

4. One Tree Hill

Four things I have for breakfast:

1. Belgian Waffles

2. Post Great Grains Crunchy Pecan cereal, with plain soy milk, and banana slices.

3. Ham and cheese croissant

4. Breakfast Tacos

Four animals I like best:

1. Ones

2. that

3. live

4. elsewhere LOL

(I have to agree with my girl Patrice on this one…and I don’t deal with other people pets either)

Four beaches I’ve been to:

1. Galveston

2. Corpus Christi

3. Surfside

4. Quintanna

(I pretty much grew up on the last two)

Tagging 4 people-since I was not officially tagged…I will not tag anyone.

Romance and ish like that...

Romance means different things to different people...takes different things to get us in the mood...

me, sometimes...I be on that hood ish for real...tell me how you want to beat it up and slap me on the azz...that's romance...I'm wit Black Ty...you know we be tearing it up, breaking stuff, that ghetto love...I don't know about you...but these lyrics right here...that's romance at it's best, ha!

I'll be obliged
if you step outside
because my ride is awaitin
our date an
of steak an
a night cap
we matin
awakin
by smells of perfume that I inhale
and then tell how well we raise hell on the dizzell
satin sheets
heat from your feet keep me warm
The mood is perfected with the sounds from the storm
You came stronger
I lasted longer
Than I've ever lasted
your mouth was fantastic
the fuk test
you passed it
the way you made a nigga laugh
I had to getcha
and when I saw that ass pass
I had to hit cha
ya makin me fight against my will
What must I do?
[Would ya kill for me?]
Yeah if my life in danger too
[Even steal for me?]
Yeah if that shit belongs to you
[Then feel for me?]
Yeah if the way you act is true
Who knows
fine clothes
Lexus doors you'll be closin
when you become one of the chosen...

1...2...

So…

I heated up my leftovers at 1:45 pm…then he hit me up at 2pm, asking if I was in the mood for a late lunch…

I am not feeling well…think I am coming down with something…have not been taking the allergy tablets like I should…and I was not feeling my best…so I hit him up and let him know that I was already eating, and working through lunch.

Around 4:30 my phone rings…it’s him…asking me how I was doing…the conversation ended with him making some phone calls to look into a car for me (I am in the market for a VW Passat).

So…still no lunch plans…but the negro is car shopping for me…

On another note…

#1….because “lunch date” is actually in the #2 position right now...he just don’t know it…so I spent some QT time with #1…late Saturday night, early Sunday morning…however you want to call it…it wasn’t face-to-face…he’s traveling on business…so we have to work with what we have for the moment. The thing is…I can go without talking to #2, and I’m good…but I actually miss #1 when I go a day, two, or three without talking to him…

A friend said that I get the intellectual stimulation from #1 and the physical from #2…maybe so…but I am physically attracted to #1…trust…and I have connected with #2 on a level beyond the physical (apparently since we have not been physically intimate)…I just feel a dilemma coming on…options are always good…but I have a feeling someone is going to get hurt here…possibly me…with that being said…I am still keeping my options open…I don’t have an exclusive relationship with either…I have not even gone on a “date” with either…so, right now…I mean…may the best man win…but then again...is it best to have options, when they are both viable options?

And on a completely different note…

I was at the white party on Friday, when my homeboy walked by. I met him freshman year of college…he was a few years older. He’s been married for a minute, and the past few times I have seen him, he is giving his whoa is me sob story because his wife is insecure and has trust and jealousy issues…Now, he usually greets us with hugs, but all we got was this awkward wave as he kept it moving…my friend said, “Oh, so that’s all I get?” To which he replied, “Let me get something to drink first”. So…I am thirsty and I want a sprite…don’t feel like going to the bar, so I say, “Hey, bring me a sprite.” He keeps going…did not acknowledge my request, so I call out after him by name. “(insert name) get me a sprite”. He turns around and replies…mind you, we are now standing a good five feet from each other…

“I can’t do that, I can’t do shit…I got my wife with me”.

I am looking at his stupid azz like wtf?!

So later, I guess he calls himself putting me in my place…

“Yo, you can’t be doing that?”

Me being me…I laid into his stupid behind…

“How in the hell was I supposed to know your wife was with you. We were not fuking then, we are not fuking now, and we will not be fuking in the future…but you made us look real suspect with that little scene. I don’t need anyone’s wife in my face with some bullshit. I guess my expectations of you are too high…I expect you to always act the same with me…so if your wife has a problem with you giving women hugs, and buying them sprites when she is with you…then you shouldn’t do it when she is NOT with you”.

“I see what you’re saying, but you don’t understand my situation…everything I do is suspect…you don’t understand.”

“I guess I don’t”…and that was the end of that.

Men.

Pissing on Trees

He extended a dinner invite, which turned into lunch plans…which he canceled an hour before we were supposed to meet…

He was hosting a white party that evening, and I knew I would see him there…and I knew I would be looking damn fly.

I wore a white pencil skirt, that hugged the azz just right, had on a white button down (with the peek-a-boo) cleavage, and a wide black belt around the waist to break up all the white…with large gold hoop earrings, a black sateen clutch, and my black and gold peep toe sling-backs (pictured here). I always feel sexy, but I was in overdrive this evening…

The party started at nine, we got there around ten…normally would not be in the house until eleven, but they stopped serving the free Ciroc then, and my friend was trying to get her $20 worth.

I decide to go the ladies room to adjust myself…had a slight wardrobe malfunction getting out the car…well, my entire right boob decides to pop out of my undergarment…just as the parking attendant was approaching, lol. (This happened later that night while on the dance floor too).

So, I am on my way to the ladies room just to give myself a look over and refresh the gloss…when I see him approaching…looking sexy as hell in his white pants, button down shirt, and white vest with thin pink pinstripes…

“You look good.” he says through a smile as he hugs me. “What are you up to?”

“Going to the ladies room right now”, thinking…damn that smile, I wanted to be mad at him for cancelling, but he was just looking too good for me to care at the moment…

“What are you up to?” he asks again.

“At the moment, I am going to the ladies room.” As I walk off.

I go back out and catch up with my friends, in the same spot I left them…by the bar, lol.

I have a clear view of him standing on the corner of the dance floor…I take off to make my rounds, to see what else is going on in the spot…I approach him, intending to walk past him, when he reaches out and takes my hand…drawing me into him…

“You’re looking good.”

Ha, I’m thinking…this is the second time he’s said that…

“Thank you and you’re looking nice yourself.”

“What have you been up to?”

I wanted to say…cussing your flakey azz out for cancelling on me at the last minute…but I do not want him to know I am the bit phased.

So I reply with, “Working hard and I am kinda tired and sleepy now”

“You better drink a red bull” I hear him say as I walk off.

The night goes on, and I am having a good time…actually trying to stay away from him because the last thing I want is for him to think I am watching him…although I caught him watching me on a few occasions.

The first time being as I approached my homeboy, his business partner…it was beginning to get a lil' warm in the place, and “e” said I was hot only because I had just been hugged by him, to which I responded, I was already hot before you touched me, and shimmied as I walked off…

Yeah, I caught him eyeing me during that entire exchange.

My girl, was like…”He is all up in your shit, I can tell by the way he’s looking at you”.

Well…I know I was looking good…and he was up in my shit as my girl stated…but I don’t know what led to this…

I am standing on the dance floor, front and center…

This negro walks up to me, in a public place, in a room filled with people that we both know…says “Hey pretty lady”, as he rubs his hand across my azz…while kissing me on the cheek then on the neck…

Now…this caught me completely off guard…I looked up at the chick standing across from me and she had this “I ain’t mad atcha smirk” on her face…I mean, the man is fione!

But in the moment…I don’t think I was flattered or turned on…I was more so puzzled…

What was the motivation behind that?

Was this negro pissing on trees?

I mean, the biatches are not going to care, if anything that will only motivate them to be in his face even more, because they want an azz rub too, lol…and the negros well, they might be like, “Aww, my bad, I did not realize that was you man.”

And if so, why did he feel the need to do that? Why do men do that?

We ain’t fuking, but his body language throughout the night would have told a different story…

Hmmm…

Oh yeah, and we are supposed to be rescheduling lunch…

We shall see.

k-spot Flashback: 2 for 1

This time two years ago, I had an pestilence issue...things got pretty bad, I was considering packing my bags and leaving my home of 4 years...glad that it's all behind me now, only a memory...thought I would share my traumatic experience with my new blog friends...

Somebody's Watching Me!

When is it crossing the line of being a friendly neighbor to just down right stalker?

This guy moved into the apartment next to me this past May. The first time I saw him was on Labor Day walking up the stairs as I was going down, with baby mama and kids in tow. After this occurrence, I noticed that he would open his door as I was approaching the top of the stairs, peep out, and then abruptly close the door (probably because I was giving him one of my “What the hell do you want" looks). About a month ago on a Friday at approximately 10:30pm , he opened the door as I was approaching the top of stairs tugging groceries. He said “I knocked on your door last night but I guess you were not home”. I then gave him my “why in the hell are you knocking on my door" look and he proceeded to tell me that he wanted to make sure that his music was not that loud because some one had complained. I informed him that if it were too loud I would let him know, and then he proceeded to try to make small talk. But actually all he succeeded to do was weird me out. He informed me that he has been watching my coming and goings and that he has noticed I am never home. He also made a comment about my friend, Calvin who was with me the first day I saw him with baby mama and kids in tow. I gave him this look of bewilderment because I forgot all about that day and was trying to recall what he was talking about…so he pretty much took that as “Calvin could not have been my man”. I was trying to be neighborly and had a brief conversation with him, but I had a handful of groceries that I needed to put away, so I politely excused myself and went inside my apartment. 5 mins later I hear a knock on my door, I am on the phone with my mother and I let her know that she is not to hang up…I answer the door and of course it’s my neighbor (Who Shall Remain Nameless) asking me if I have a burner. I am now giving him my “Yeah, but you can’t borrow it” look and he then says “Oh no, I don’t want to use it, I just have a lot of cd’s and you can come over and see if there are any you would like to burn”. I gave him a thumbs up, waved good-bye and closed the door.


Since this first incident HWSRN has knocked on my door on several occasions. He has even gone as far as asking me if I work 2 jobs because I never seem to be at home. He has invited me over several times to watch movies, but the problem is he waits until an inappropriate hour to knock on my door, and he always seems to have an alcoholic beverage in hand. I’ve asked if I could borrow the movie when he’s done, but this does not seem to be acceptable…he wants me to step inside his space to watch ATL…I don’t even like TI, so my thought to that is Hell to the Naw! I do not find this brotha attractive and he is really weirding me out. Brotha even asked me if I would go to the new spot in town if he paid my cover, and had the nerve to tell me that I am not black “my skin is, but not on the inside”, because I am not attracted to his gold fronts and raggedy azz Cadillac! On my first encounter with HWSRN he told me that “I looked out of his league and he was afraid to talk to me” Well, I don’t know when he drank his cup of courage (maybe that’s why he always has the alcohol in hand when knocking on my door), but he was right, I am out of his league, and I really do need him to leave me alone. My friends tell me not to open the door, but I really do not want homeboy to start acting crazy and overly aggressive. Stalking is not going to make me come around, but it may force me to have to get a restraining order!

Hopefully HWSRN is not Internet savvy and has not found his way to my blog!

Here is a video in dishonor of HWSRN....



Bug-A-Boo!
Ok, if you read the last post you know that my neighbor (Who Shall Remain Nameless) has become somewhat of a nuisance. However, last night homeboy took the insanity to an all time high. Today is apparently his birthday, and for some reason he got it in his head that I would want to spend the day with him. He knocked on my door this past Thursday (I had only been home from work like 15mins)and I did not answer. Last night around 9pm I left my apartment, and when I returned at 11:30 pm I hear "Hi Neighbor". This all too familiar voice seemed to come from behind the bushes. I turned around to see HWSRN standing in the pool area (I always park near the pool. He was sitting out by the pool waiting for me to return home. He mentioned that he looked out his window and did not see my car anymore. He then informed me that he knocked on my door the other day, and had the nerve to say that he did not knock again because he did not want to be a bug-a-boo. Well to late "You a bug-a-boo...you buggin who...you buggin me and you know it ain't cool."

Well, apparently HWSRN took it upon himself to buy 2 tickets to Schlitterbahn Waterpark for the day. He assumed that I wanted to get in a car with him, take an hour and a half ride, and spend the day with him because it is his birthday. Stop the Insanity!

k-spot Flashback

If you go back in the archives, you will find this post from a year ago today...

I thought I would revisit it...seems a bit fitting considering some of the male-female banter I have been a party to recently...

Woman Seeking Man

Woman Seeking Man, but not any ol’ man will do. Unless you fit the following criteria please do not respond…

You must be…

Intelligent, Honest, Trustworthy, Passionate, Compassionate, Ambitious, Determined, Loving, Sharing , Humorous, Creative, Stylish, Respectful (of self and others), Faithful…Oh…and you must love Football!

I want a man that wants me…not the idea of me. You must realize that my world does not and will not revolve around you, but that does not mean you are not important in my life. You must realize I have my own dreams and aspirations and your support is needed, wanted, and expected…sometimes I need a cheerleader too. You have to understand that both of us have to give 100% in order to build…no 50/50 here. Sometimes I might need you to do something you may not want to…are you willing to make that compromise for me? So what, we have differences, that’s what makes life interesting…I would be bored if we were exactly the same, however, you must be willing to experience new things, understand that our differences is what makes us special. It’s ok if you’re hip-hop and I’m R&B…you can’t have one without the other. You must be willing to sit and chill with my family all day because it’s important to me. You must be willing to make a complete fool of yourself if it will bring a smile to my face…don’t want a man that takes himself too seriously. You must be willing to pray with me, and for me. You have to understand that I come with issues for I am not perfect…but neither are you. You must realize that I like what I like, and just because I don’t share your opinion, does not mean I don’t honor and respect it. You must realize that sometimes I will become frustrated and upset with you…but that does not mean that my feelings have changed. Will you call me before you go to bed just because you want to hear my voice? Will you sit with me in silence just because you want to share my space and time? It’s the little things that count, and I am well worth the effort!

Can you accept me…my differences, my quirks, my faults…those things that make me me? I expect a lot from those close to me…do you think you can handle the responsibility? If you meet the minimum qualifications for this position, then your response is welcomed…otherwise, please don’t respond.

Copyright © 2007 by kelic
All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used or reproduced in without the author's consent.

The Walls Around Us

Secretive? Guarded? Both were used to describe me today…

The first could possibly mean a lack of trust? But who am I not trusting? The situation or the person?

I think that one reason I tend to be guarded, is because everyone always tend to a form an opinion…good or bad, and sometimes I am just not wanting to have to listen to other’s opinions on the situation. I guess I feel, that if you open up, you open yourself to ridicule.

Other times I just don’t flat out trust you…can’t trust that you will not try to manipulate things for your favor…or to hurt me…misery does love company.

Another reason that I chose to not disclose all, is because some people automatically want to think the worst…they automatically assume that you're acting with malicious intent...or that someone you're close to is purposely trying to hurt you. They see the worst in everyone…not just me…others...they see the worst in themselves, in everyone close to them…and sometimes these same folks that want to see the worst in those close to them, come to the defense and/or aid of someone they barely know…that barely knows them.

But most importantly…I think that the reason that I choose to keep certain things to self, is because not all is meant to be shared…some things are best kept to self…if there is anything to tell, it will be revealed in due time.

So, should I not mention anything? If I have to be vague about the situation, I guess it is probably best for me not to mention it at all.

At the end of the day…it’s my happiness, my trust, my feelings that are on the line.

And right now, I am just not ready to take the risk…way too much at stake.

The Pimp In Me

I have been in a bit of a funk…

Something funny…I was listening to J Holiday the other night…as he sang…

Girl, the pimp in me just died…said it died…it died…

So, I change my IM Status to…The pimp in me just died…

But here’s the funny thing…

I had a few people hit me up on IM asking about my status, “The pimp in me just died”…

What is that supposed to mean? Are you ok?

And the hater friend who said “Girl, you know you’re not a pimp”

I don’t think I have ever had more than one person react to a status message…and I have had some pretty ridiculous ones, lol.

So I just laughed it off, and let them know it was nothing…I was just listening to a song by J Holiday…blah, blah, blah…

But that was not all true, it was something…I have been in a bit of a funk lately…some of it is business stuff, some of it is family stuff, and some of it is man stuff…it’s the man stuff on top of the other stuff that really sent me over the edge…

Now at the time, the status message seemed fitting…I went from having two strong starters, and a good back up… to cutting the roster down to one…

I have one dude that I have been playing “reindeer games” with (shouts out to my girl) since, this time last year…and nothing has developed…but for some reason…he always draws me back in…

Then I have the other who although I have known for several years, just really came into my life a few months back… I find myself wanting to give to him…my time, my body, my soul…my inner thoughts…he has done in just a few months what some have not been able to do in years…earn my trust...get over the wall…I am already acting with him in mind…I must admit…my head is all MESSED up! He has been demanding of me and my time…although he does not have much time to give himself…and when I say demanding…I mean…he has very high expectations of me…which is cool, because I have the same level of expectations of him…but…he also wants to just come in and start running things, assert his control as the “man”…that’s what it ain’t…you at least got to put it down before you try to come in and regulate…I’m just saying…

I have yet to be physically intimate with either…which I am ok with, but on the other hand I am NOT ok with! They are both very attractive men …One of them is probably the sexiest, most handsome man I have EVER laid eyes on…he did try to kiss me, but I backed away, twice…I mean, he was still officially someone’s husband at the time…that’s the last time he has attempted to be in my space…he extends lunch invitations and never follows through…suggests we hang out together if we are going to be at the same social gathering, yet barely has to words to say to me when he sees me…I had pretty much chunked him the deuce…and now…he has extended a dinner invite…

So here I am…I have the attention of two handsome, intelligent, successful, black men…yet, I don’t feel as though I really have their attention. So far shit has been done on their terms…and that’s so not me…

I am about to make them work...

See usually, I tend to be high maintenance borderline difficult, sometimes just downright mean…I have been trying to work on that...trying to grow in that regard…trying to bury the hot headed, sharp tongued bitch...but they are about to bring her back out...seems like men like her better anyway…or at least she elicits the desired results. They are about to make me use the pimp hand, lol.

Oh, and don’t let me run into the back up…he might need to be bumped up to a starter as well. ;)

Might need to consider picking up a free-agent too.

The pimp has been revived.

I'm ill!

Yeah…I know, I need to update this thing.

A lot of pressing issues on my mind, but I think I will just share the random ish with you today.

Weddings annoy me…why do you ask? I will tell you why…because I end up having to come out of pocket and spend money because someone else decides they want to spend the rest of their lives together…that’s that bull. If I do go there…I ain’t registering for ish…I mean, if I want you to share in my day, I should not expect something in return…went to a wedding this past weekend, I brought the bride a spa gift certificate to cover some of her expenses…you know…mani, pedi, wax…I mean, to me, that’s more useful than a damn bag of towels. My brother is getting married in the “H” this weekend…he ain’t getting shit…I did not get a formal invitation, so he does not get a gift…not to mention, he waited until the last minute to tell us when /where the ceremony was going down…I did not plan to return to Houston until closer to the the end of the August…now I am heading down this weekend…which is all good…I mean…there is someone (oops I mean things) I can do while in town…but seriously. Weddings make me grumpy.

He said I’m off the chain…if he only really knew. *winks*

I don’t own any sexy lingerie…it’s all functional…I mean what’s the point? It’s only going to end up thrown in a corner behind the chair anyway…butt naked and heels seems to work for me…no complaints yet, no man has ever bought me panties as a gift…I try to go without them whenever possible…I would rather wear his button down with the 4inch stilettos anyway…

Now…my 9 yr old niece…she’s off the chain…I had a conversation with her about a week back…the news was on and she could hear the male newscaster in the background…the conversation went something like this…

“Aunt Keli, is someone there with you”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, K…I am sure. Why would I be on the phone with you if someone was here, that’s rude.”

“Because maybe you have something to tell us.” (She had me on speaker)

“Tell you like what?”

“I dunno, I’ve been hearing something about a wedding. Are you getting married?”

“NO! K. I am not getting married. Why would you think that?”

“I dunno, I mean, you should get married while you are still young *whispers under her breath* a little.”

“What was that you said at the end?”

“Nothing”

“No, you were bad enough to say it, be bold enough to repeat it.”

“Well, you should get married while you are still young…a little.”

“What do you mean young a little. You are right, I am still young…”

“A little.”

Ugh! She better be glad I love her. Then this weekend, she has the nerve to ask, “Aunt Keli, have you always been single?”

“Little girl, why are you so worried about my marital status?”

“Ummm…I kinda want an uncle”

And on that note…I am done! All this marriage talk has made be a bit ill.

Keli’s Rules for Wearing Heels

1. Always keep it sexy…comfort must always be sacrificed for style. If it the heel ain’t at least 3.5 inches…there is nothing I can do with it…not even worth buying…I need at least 4 to 4.5 inches…heels people, heels…other wise that number is doubled. *winks*

2. Please moisturize your situation…I know that lotion can sometimes make things slip and slide…but there is no excuse to have crusty dusty feet stuffed into some fly shoes. Grease them dawgs and put you on some socks…that will help some of that dissolve into the skin…it burns me up to see a woman in a pair of sexy open toe heels…feet looking like sand dunes...oh...and chipped toe nail polish is also a negative.

3. Taps are necessary…if it falls off, either get it replaced or retire the shoe. If your heels look like Spot got a hold of it and used it as a chew toy…it’s time to let those go…if your heels are turned over, leaning like the tower in Italy…well…I think you should not be wearing heels in the first place!

4. Buy the right size…if the shoe does not come in half sizes…go the next size up…never go down…heels hanging and toes dragging are never a good look. Also, feet stuffed in a two tight pair of shoes is not the bigness…feet all swollen, looking like you have bed baking in your shoe. (yes, Steph…I stole your line, lol).

5. Always have a pair of flip flops and a back up pair of shoes in the car (or in your emergency bag)…just in case the pain is unbearable. Shoes are like panties…you should always have a spare pair. Also, I never drive in my heels…that’s why I keep a pair of flip flops in the car…driving in heels is the quickest way to tear them up.

6. Cheap is good…I like a good sale…I love a good bargain…but I just can’t do pleather plastic shoes, with faux wood, faux cork, or faux anything…I’m allergic.

7. The Drop Test!

I bring the shoes home from the store…and before I decide to keep them…they must pass the drop test…I try shoes on again…In my head I hear Pimp C (RIP) saying…

Let me see it...Let me see it
Bend over lemme see it,
Let me see it...Let me see it
Bend over lemme see it...

I then do exactly that…I bend over and then I drop it low…holding it for a second before getting back up…then I bring it back up, slowly…trip drill style…tooting that azz up and putting that dip in my back…I do this infront of a mirror of course…I have to admire my work, while checking to see how good the shoes look while I do my thing…now, if I can drop it and get back up with ease…and the shoes make me look sexier while doing so…and I feel they can hold up…then they are a keeper…otherwise, back to the sto’ they go.

Now ladies…there you have it…that’s how you manage to keep it sexy when wearing heels. Sometimes your feet hurt like heel…but the true test of a bad biatch is being able to never break a sweat…at all times walk like you own the shoes…don’t let them own you.

Fellas…well…hey…if you know of any ladies that’s not working the heels right…you might want to pass along the tips.

Shouts to Patrice for giving me the idea!

Birthday Wishes

Today is Patrice’s Birthday!

Cancerains are nurturing, protective, traditional, understanding, caring, intuitive, tenacious…I would say that sounds about right. They have a flair for the dramatic, and Miss Patrice you are all of these things and more.

From one Cancerian to another…

Have a wonderful, happy, and blessed birthday.

So what's your course of action?

The Revolution will NOT be televised...

You will not be able to stay home, brother.
You will not be able to plug in, turn on, and cop out...

Now…Former Sen. Phil Gramm has come under scrutiny for calling the U.S. a nation of whiners…at first, I wanted to jump on the “hater” bandwagon…just because I am not a Gramm fan…but once I stopped and thought about it…he is absolutely right…as a whole…we are…one big nation of whiners…we sit on our butts and complain...not taking much action towards making a positive change...we sit back and listen to Obama preach a message of positive change on the television and believe that a vote for him is enough to invoke the change we need in our communities…we learn from television...and the information highway…not using it to research policy and issues…but using others voices to guide our way…

How many of us know about legislation and local bond issues in our community?

How many of us vote in local elections?

How many of us would vote if there was not a black candidate in the mix?

How many of us sit on our azz, don’t get involved, don’t do jack , yet we constantly want to ridicule those who put in work?

Well as Gil Scott-Heron said...

The revolution will not be televised, will not be televised,will not be televised, will not be televised…

The revolution will be live.

So what's your course of action?

An Ode

A few words a friend wrote in honor of my birthday....

Shawty

I believe June 25, 1975 my guardian angel was born

She lifts me up even though my heart is still scorn

I don't mind exposing her like buttered flavored popcorn

Because she knows personally why I'm torn

When we first met I was Professor Warfield

In her room is where I preferred to chill

Two months, ago we both found out we share a similar skill

Even though she's a female I think she's my Dr. Phil

I picture her still having the baddest walk

These days I'm turned on by the way she talks

She must was raised in the hood

Because her voice sounds oh so good

These days she's clueless as to why I'm Undercover Brotha

I must admit that she is still one tough cookie

For she gives hell to veterans as well as rookies

I prefer to call her Tonja, because she too, is a downass sistah

A Year Later

It’s been a long day and it just got started…

I woke up at 3:30 this morning, and had the hardest time getting back to sleep because I have so many things on my mind. Its storm season, but no time for pity parties. I just celebrated a birthday and I have too much to be thankful for, however, it’s easy to lose sight of that when you are going through. I was going through the archives and came across my post for June 30, 2007…I think it is also fitting for June 30, 2008…

This morning I woke up with a sound mind and healthy body, I could not help but to thank God.

This morning I spotted a homeless man on the corner. I sat in my car watching him…he had a sign that read “Native American”, here he was begging for change, yet he looked dignified, even regal. Then, I thought about my life, and although to some I might not have much, I have been blessed. I thought about home, it might not be much, its home, and I could not help but to thank God. I thought about the very car I sat in, although not a luxury sedan, it serves its purpose…I could have been watching him from the bus stop. I reached in my purse pulled out a dollar and waved it to get his attention, as I handed him the dollar he said “God bless you and may you be safe”, I could feel the sincerity and I felt blessed in that moment…that costs much more than a dollar.

This morning I talked to my niece, I love to hear her laugh. She has been a pillar of strength in my life, she has taught be what strength is all about. Ironic, I find strength in a 9 year old. She has endured so much, yet she continues on rarely complaining. Today she is healthy and strong, no pain crisis, and it has been over a year since her last hospitalization…I could not help but to thank God.

This morning was not a guarantee, and neither is the next, but every morning that I am able to awake to the shining sun, I can’t help but to thank God.

It is so easy to get caught up in the negatives…what you should have, what you don’t have…however, when I stop and reflect, I realize that it could be a lot worse, and blessing are not necessarily measured by material possessions.

When I look at his creation, when I think of all that I DO have, when I reflect upon how my life is moving on and upward, I cannot help but to thank God.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Another dollar another day…another June 25^th another birthday!

I love my birthday, it’s my favorite annual holiday. Yep, I guess I am just that self centered. Celebrate with me, eat some cake, drink some bubbly, shake a tail feather…make it a good one!

I'm bored...

And boredom typically leads to mischief in my world...idle hands...

I think I might pass out? Why do you ask? Because I am sitting at my desk sucking my stomach in tightly…trying to get an ab workout in…but do you really want to know what’s the best ab workout? You really don’t have to ask that do you?

I had baked potato soup topped with cheddar cheese and bacon bits for lunch…it was good…I also had two mini turkey and swiss sandwiches, they were pretty good too. Now after eating this banana, I just want to go home and take a nap.

I try drinking water, but I can’t…that stuff is just nasty…it taste all bitter, or it tasted soapy, or it taste rusty…now matter what the taste, it’s all nastee!

I need to figure out how I want to allocate my 401K, what percentage I want in this fund vs. the next…guess I will have to contact the ex-boyfriend…since this is what he does for a living…and I am sure he will be happy to oblige…men like to feel needed.

So, I hope that he does not expect me to run behind his azz…I guess he did not get the memo…and I hope that he does not expect me to run behind his azz either…yes two different he’s…but apparently neither he knows about me...I can’t be bothered.

I am happy that I have a strong sense of self, and I do not wrap my identity and self worth around some man…if he leaves, I might be shook…but I will not be broken…I love me too much to allow that. And I really need my friends to stop comparing my situation with theirs…yes he left…yes I was hurt…yes it sucked…BUT…my world did not fall apart…why? Because my world never revolved around him…which is probably the reason he left…ultimately, I don’t think he could handle my strength and independence…the things that attracted him, were essentially the things that he could not get pass. His bad.

What?! Milk and Cookies? I think I might take a scoop of vanilla on a cake cone instead, lol.

So…I think it’s about time for a PBJ eating contest…I have two, possibly three contestants that are down right now…ha…and if your mind is in the gutter…you are right!

I hope he does not think I've forgotten that he owes me a Brazilian wax...

It’s going down in 2 more days…

It's Juneteenth

July 4th is all good...but this day signifies independence for me and my ancestors...my great great grandmother who passed at age 110 in June 1995, was born to a slave...it does not go too far back...

"The people of Texas are informed that in accordance with a Proclamation from the Executive of the United States, all slaves are free. This involves an absolute equality of rights and rights of property between former masters and slaves, and the connection heretofore existing between them becomes that between employer and free laborer."

Juneteenth is a celebration commemorating the ending of slavery in the United States. Dating back to 1865, it was on June 19^th that the Union soldiers, led by Major General Gordon Granger, landed at Galveston, Texas with news that the war had ended and that the enslaved were now free. Note that this was two and a half years after President Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation - which had become official January 1, 1863. The Emancipation Proclamation had little impact on the Texans due to the minimal number of Union troops to enforce the new Executive order. However, with the surrender of General Lee in April of 1865, and the arrival of General Granger’s regiment, the forces were finally strong enough to influence and overcome the resistance.

8 days and counting…

I think I might take the plunge into the 21^st century and get myself a cell phone for my birthday…I don’t really want to do it…but I am tired of people complaining because they can’t text me, and they don’t have access to me when I am away, unless I call them and give a number where I can be reached…that’s one of the main reasons I don’t have a cell…I don’t need folks having that kinda access to me…and for the most part, I probably will not answer anyway…especially if folks start calling me during the day all wheelie kneelie.

I found a LG phone for $29.99 with a new 2yr Sprint contract...with the option for a $49.99 equipment protection…so…who wants to put $80 in my account so I can go head on with the plan…I mean, I will be responsible for paying the monthly bill myself. ..And the more that I think of it…creating another bill for myself is far from a gift.

Swagger Is Everything!

There is nothing sexier on a man than confidence…I like that borderline arrogant confidence.

Stuff like poppin his collar at me then walking off…leave me hanging, tease me…that’s what I’m talking ;bout.

The men that I am attracted to…they all have something in common…what is it you ask…

It’s that SWAGGER…

I mean, what other reason would make me want to throw the draws at Lil Wayne…

Damn I hate a shy bitch

Don't you hate a shy bitch?

Yeah, I ate a shy bitch...

She ain't shy no mo, she changed her name to my bitch…

I love it…

I have been told that I like a bad boy…but you know what…”bad boys” like me…well not really bad boys, but confident, overly confident, arrogant men like me…why? Because I have an ego bigger than theirs…I pose a challenge to most…a lesser man finds me intimidating, and I gots no time for that…I need a man that can hang…I like the man that comes up to me, will not say a word, but will talk to me with his eyes…I like the man that is bold enough to assume that I want him in my space…if not, I will let him know he can kick rocks…and probably not be too nice about it…

A friend once told me, “I don’t know what it is about you, but you always seem to pull that nigga that everybody else wants”…well I will let you in on a little secret…my boy Wheezy said it best…”Lil Mama got a swag like mine”…Game recognizes game…I attract what I am…I be the ish!