Interview with a Blogger

Same Ole Patrice interviewed me...
I knew she would give me some hard questions.

~ If you had to make between having a Best Friend or your Soul Mate. You can only pick one, the other you will never see again. Which would you choose and why?

I love my best friend like a sister, but I guess this would be the beginning of my mourning the loss of our friendship. I will always be able to cherish the memories that we made going forward, but I would much rather have a soul mate, someone that understands me, or at least accepts me inside and out, someone that I could build a life with…Someone to connect with physically, mentally, and spiritually...especially the physical...I'm just saying.

~ You only have a $50 to your name. Your rent is past due and you have to pay it by $850 by 12th or you'll lose your apt. You happen to be walking and an old lady bumps into you, she immediately begins to berate and curse at you. As she's walking away you notice she's left her wallet behind. You call out to her, she flips you the middle finger, you open the wallet and count 8 crisp $100 bills. Do you keep the money why or why not?

I am going to give the mean old hag her money back…I believe you reap what you sow and this is not what I would want to get back. The money did not belong to me, so it’s not mine to keep. Now if she wants to reward me with the money for returning it…Glory to God! But on the cool, I would think this to be a test, and since I know the difference between right and wrong...I would have to go with what is right.

~Proposition: You will have you dream body figure, perfect boobs, butt, and abs, but you're hair will be reminiscent of celie in the color purple. No wigs No hair stylist, no nothing. Just pickaninnie for thr rest of your days. OR you can have a gorgeous mane of hair. Bad hair days are a thing of the past, but you will look like Star Jones pre-gastric bypass. Which do you choose?

Girl…give me the pretty hair. I have nappily natural hair now, but whew…I can’t imagine having to deal with celie type hair. And I thought that fat Star Jones was pretty, it’s skinny Star that looks a mess.

~ if it came out that your mother is not your biological mother but your aunt, and the woman you've only known as your aunt is in fact your biomother. What would be your reaction? How do you think it would change your relationship with the woman who raised you, it at all?

My mom’s adopted sister…this aunt is only 12 years older than me, so I would be beyond shocked. My mother took her kids in, so then again, I would not be surprised. My mother is my mother, she cared for me, she has made sacrifices for me, she loves me unconditionally…she is my mother NO matter what. The woman that raised her did not give birth to her, but she taught my mother what it meant to love, she taught my mother what it means to be a woman, she taught my mother how to be a mother…and that’s what I have learned from my mother…how to be a woman. Our relationship is solid, nothing would change if I discovered she was not my mother…but it might explain my issues with my father, lol.

~50k to buy any car you choose. What do you pick and why?

Give me a Mercedes E Class Sedan, in black…and you know what, I think I might be a few thousand short, but that’s ok…that’s what I will be getting. The crazy thing is, $50k will buy me a nice car, but it still will not get me my dream car. I’m all about style, and to me Mercedes is as stylish as they come.

1. If you want to participate, leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Just want to say...

Thanks to everyone for the well wishes...pretty much got through week one un-faded...steadily grinding it out, networking, letting everyone know I am actively pursuing new opportunities. I have spoken to a few people, taken a few personality assessments, and hopefully I will start having interviews scheduled in the next couple of weeks.

I am a strong believer in the power of prayer...but...

Faith without works is dead.

This ish is real!

I was laid off this past Friday...

did not even see it coming. All I could say was, "Good thing I did not buy that car at the end of the year". It was awkward, they waited until the end of the day to take me into a conference room to let me know it would be my last day...then they were looking at me like they were expecting me to say something...and that's all I had to say in the moment.

I already have a few coals in the fire, and I have some prayer warriors standing in agreement with me. If you want to know if I could use anything...Prayer...pray that I keep my sanity!

I feel that all things in my life happen for a reason...I feel into a comfort zone, became stagnant...it's time for me to move around and make things happen. I have stopped writing, stopped living for me, and it's time that I start doing those things again. Now, could I have done this employed, yes...but sometimes we need to be shaken in order to see what's meant for us.

I am not exactly sure what lies ahead of me, but right now, I'm o.k. with things...it is what it is, and I can't change my present reality, I can just press to make a different reality for the future.

Hook'em Horns!

24-21

'Nuff said!

What's your resolution?

I am the head and not the tail
So why, do I, sometimes feel like I am in jail, in my own mind
A prisoner of time, and time is running out…without a doubt…
Feeling heavy, need to shed some weight
All it takes is a little faith…but I’m tired…
Tired of being weak!
Tired of being weary!
Tired of being worn!
I know that weeping only endures for the night, but when will I see my morning light
I don’t know how much longer I can fight…
I. Thank. Jesus .
For his mercy and the power of his might
For the battle has already been won, it is done
He claimed the victory for me on Calvary, all I have to do, is allow him to guide me through
Temptations all around me, destruction and devastation they surround me
Yeah…the block is hot, but I feel no danger, for he got this on lock.
Don ‘t worry about them, let him do HIM
No weapons formed against me shall prosper, for, I have the Lord’s favor , I am renewed by the Savior
He can bring peace to you to, what must he do
Must he ring the alarm, give you déjà vu, what will it take to let him upgrade you
I done came down, he put me on, get like me, come on…
There he stands, just take his hand…
You want out of the darkness, step into the light, allow him to make it right
Continue to stay in the fight…for the battle is not yours to lose, now is the time to choose
No matter what’s wrong, no matter what’s going on, no matter the problem…
He. Can. Solve. It.
You just have to make your resolution, to make HIM the solution.

Copyright © 2008 by kelic. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used, reproduced, or distributed without the author's consent.

Happy New Year!

Get it big!

2009 is almost here...

I was told that how you bring in the new year sets the tone for the rest of the year...

and I believe it. For the past two years, I was asleep when the ball dropped...

and it seems that the past two years have been stagnant.

I am making a change in 2009! I am bringing in the New Year lively! Even if I have to dance in the living room by my ownself...nah, actually I am going to spend time with my sister and the girls, and we're going to go to "winter white" party at the church.

I plan to do some things in 2009...makes some moves. I have already laid the foundation for somethings in 2008...2009 is what I make of it, and I plan to make it great!

What are your New Year Eve's plans?

How are you saying goodbye to 2008 and hello to 2009?

Merry CHRISTmas!

I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!

I hope the holiday season is a happy and blessed time for you all.

I couldn't help but smile this morning watching my nieces unwrap their gifts...
they received everything on their list...and the thing that really made me happy was they did not ask for much. It's so easy to give to them because they are unselfish and appreciative in return. Their happiness is a gift...spending time with my family is a gift...seeing this day is a gift...

But the greatest gift of all is what Christmas means to me...

Present and Here

My presence exists in the absence of you
You can ignore me, you cannot forget me
I am still here
Here to remind you of all that you have loss
Here to remind you of where you erred
You turn your back to me…
Yet, that does not muffle the sound of my voice
Speaking to you, telling what could have been.


Copyright © 2008 by kelic All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used or reproduced in without the author's consent.

Love or Hate

Love is not selfish
Love is not inconsiderate
Love is not disrespectful
Love does not provoke anger
Love does not leave you empty…hopeless
Love is not dark
Love is not lonely
Love is not dependence
Love does not strike
Love does not belittle
Love does not manipulate
Loves is not a game of win or lose
Love is not hurtful
Love is not abusive
Love is the opposite of what you’re manifesting
There may be a thin line between love and hate
But that line should not be crossed, if you love me…
The two do not merge and become one
Love me or hate me
You can't have both.

Copyright © 2008 by kelic All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used or reproduced in without the author's consent.

Free At Last!

Or so “we” seem to think…
If I receive one more email in my inbox with the title…
Free At Last
We’ve Finally Made It
He’s Gone!
Any of the above or anything like the above…I might just haul off and slap somebody.

Why so violent? You ask!
This is why...
This is what I was concerned about…we would put a black man into the white house and that we would think we overcome as a people.
Is this historic? Yes
If this something to be proud about? Most certainly yes!
But does it mean all is well for us as a people? No!
Does it mean that our communities have turned around? Hello No!
There is still work to be done!
And trust…if the “other” folks did not want him in office, he would not be in office…the black vote is not enough to secure a win…

And...

Dubya is not gone just yet...on his way out, and steadily placing laws on the book...everything he placed on the Federal Register by yesterday, will pretty much be impossible for Obama to oveturn...yeah, yeah, yeah...where there's a will, there's a way...but Bush is steadily putting is mark on ish...pissing on trees as he goes out.


I am hoping that this election caused us to educate ourselves on the political process…demonstrated the important of knowing the issues at stake.
I am hoping electing a black president would cause our community to unite, that new leaders would emerge, that the gangsters would stop and ask themselves why are they killing each other? That the drug dealers would see that there is another way…a better way? But giving the state of our economy, this may be easier said than done. Most crimes in our community are crimes of desperation (or plain stupidity)…and giving the state of our economy…more and more are feeling desperate.

I have to tell you, when I read the morning news about his plan to create 2.5 Million jobs by 2011, my stomach cringed…
Why did that make me a bit sick? (yes I am being overly dramatic)…but I will tell you why I am unsure about this…
Obama plans to create jobs by rebuilding bridges and roads, modernizing schools, developing alternative sources of energy and more efficient cars…

Hold the brake right here…

First of all, most roadways are maintained by the state or local gov’t…

Schools...again, mainted by the state and/or local gov’t…

Alternative sources of energy…one democratic issue of importance that I could care less about, especially considering I grew up in a town where a portion of our nation’s old reserve is kept…we need to tap into our own and stop depending upon foreign sources…also growing up in an area where there are more chemical, petroleum, and nuclear plants than need be…the thought of relying on nuclear power scares me…BIG TIME!

More efficient cars…look; those bubble cars are not the business! We are all going to look like clowns driving around in a damn Smart Car or Toyota Yaris…that’s what the hell it ain’t! Now if they mean things like developing cars with more Flex Fuel types of technology or something along those means…ok, I can dig it…but these light weight hybrid and fuel efficient cars…well, they are just not safe. Someone driving a Toyota Prius drove over a piece of tires in the road, and the entire front end of her car fell off. I drive a Toyota Corolla and that is bad enough…sometimes I feel like my car is going to be blown of off bridges driving on windy days.

Giving his plans above…how is our president-elect going to create new jobs by 2011…
By increasing federal spending…which will lead to an increase in taxes…
I don’t see how he can do all this while providing tax cuts? We will pay for it elsewhere…probably in toll fees.

And the items outlined are not going to do anything to secure jobs in the industry in which many of us are employed…yay for contractors and civil engineers…yay for toll booth workers…yay for nuclear physicist…but…yeah…

Ok…so know that I have finished my rant…well somewhat…

I just want to go back to the beginning of this message…
“We” have not overcome…Barack Obama has...or he has overcome the last hurdle placed before him, but there will be many more in the upcoming four years…

Now is not the time to become complacent…
Now is not the time to get comfortable…
Now is the time to step up and make a difference.

"Thank you Jesus!"...

That’s all I could say as the double doors parted and I crossed the threshold.

I was calm, I am usually a ball of emotion…guess it’s different when it’s about you…no time to stress, that was not going to change things. I located my phone to call my mother, she does not pick up at work…I tried the home number, same response. I just need to talk to someone, hear someone reassure me that all is well…need someone to stand in agreement with me. I call up my friend, she seems very nonchalant...I don’t want her to be emotional, no need for that, however, I am not sure that this is the response I wanted, expected, or needed at this time as well…

“How often do you do self breast examinations?”
“Not as frequently as I should, maybe every couple of months.”
“Do you ever feel anything?”
“I always feel something; I have fibrocystic breast tissue, hard to tell what’s normal and what’s not.”
“Hmmm”
“Hmmm” I think to myself. Not want you want to hear as someone takes their forefingers and work them around your breast.
“Owe”. That one word sealed the deal. Not only is there a lump, but it’s accompanied by breast tenderness. I was giving a paper with a picture of two breasts, with a star on the right breast indicating where the lump was detected in my breast…then I was told to contact the number on the top of the sheet to schedule a mammogram and ultrasound.

I take the paper and just stare at it for a brief moment. Trying to wrap my mind around what was happening, not too sure what was happening. She said that the size and shape of the lump was nothing to be alarmed about, however, the position and the tenderness was caused for concern. “She’s just crossing all her T’s and dotting all her I’s”, I think as I check out. I’m only 33, there is no way I have breast cancer…sure, my grandmother had a double mastectomy, but she was seventy-something…I am going to be fine.

I finally get my mother on the phone and I let her know what was going on. Her words and her tone let me know that I could not break down…I had to keep it together…tears were not allowed. She said that she prays for me, my sister, and my nieces every morning, and that it was already done…that everything is fine. Maybe my faith is shaky, because I was not too sure...

As I drove into the office, my breasts seem to become heavy…or maybe it was my heart becoming heavy due to the burden that had been placed upon me.

I call the radiological association to make an appointment.
“That’s in an hour?”
“If you don’t come in today at 12:45pm, we will not be able to get you in for two weeks”
Well, my follow-up appointment is within two weeks, so that’s no good. I go ahead and make the appointment, and inform the owner’s wife that I will be leaving the office once again for the day.

“What is your name again? Hmmm, Ms. Crane, it seems that we don’t have you scheduled today?”
I am on the cusp of getting ig’nant, so I take a deep breath before responding.
“I just spoke to someone, and she told me that I could come in today at 12:45, or I would have to wait two weeks to get an appointment?”
“Do you have your order from the doctor?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have your insurance card?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, hand me your information and I will work you into the schedule, but I can’t promise that it will be quick.”

I go take a seat in the waiting area, as I look around, all I could think is “That I don’t belong here. Everyone was so much older, and when I say older I mean they appeared to be older than my own mother. Had it not been for the fact that a lump was detected in my left breast at the age of 19, and I actually had a surgical consult, I might not have felt as uneasy as I did in that moment…the longer I waited, the more uneasy I became…I had no idea of what lied ahead…

“Kelly Crane” I hear someone call with a strong Texas twang.

I walk back. No, my name is not Kelly, but no need to sweat the small stuff. I smile as she introduces herself, never correcting her. She shows me to a tiny dressing room, more like a dressing closet and instructs me to disrobe. She also hands me some toilettes to clean my underarm area…apparently wearing deodorant is a big no when you are going in for a mammogram.

“Kelly are you ready?” She asks as she opens the door to the dressing closet.
I actually was not ready because I could not get the cape to snap.
“Well, that’s no good” She says as she picks up another cape. “The snap is broken on this one”
The technician dresses me and leads me to a room…THE room.
“Have you had this done before?”
“No, this is my first time.”
“Well I am going to compress your breasts…”
She kept talking, but I was not listening, I was stuck on the “Compress my breasts” part of the explanation. Apparently my face spoke for me, because I heard, “Oh, it’s alright, don’t make that face.”
“You mentioned something about compressing my breast”
“Yes, but don’t worry, I can’t pancake them, the machine will not allow me to pancake them.”
Did she just compare my girls to flap jacks? This day is steadily getting worse…
“My mother did not tell me any of this”
“Oh well, she just didn’t want to scare ya?”

This is the oddest thing I have ever encountered...even worse than the speculum opening my cervix earlier that morning. You can’t be shy in this field of work, and you damn sure can’t be shy when you’re having someone left your boob, stretch it on a platform, and then pancake it. She had me in some crazy positions…if you moved away the contraption I probably looked like a pinup girl on crack.

"Swing that cape back behind ya...there ya go Super Woman!"

"Superwoman" I thought, as I chuckled. I felt the least bit heroic in the moment.

The hard part was over…now I had to play the waiting game. She sent me back to the dressing closet while the radiologist read my results. She brought me a couple of magazines to occupy my time. “Humph” I say as I notice she handed me a copy of “In Style” with Beyonce on the cover…just because I’m black I think as I laugh out loud. I decide to read the “Us Weekly” instead. Right as I am finishing reading he magazine, she returns to let me know that the radiologists wanted to go ahead with an ultra-sound...

After it’s all said and done, all I can do is give thanks. The ultrasound came back clear, and everything is good to go. I am healthy!

On my way back to the office, I thought about what if? What if the results would have been different? What if I lost one or both of my breasts? Yeah, Steph, I know you said they don’t make me a woman…but I can’t help to feel that I might feel like less of a woman without them.

A routine check-up turned out not to be so routine after all...
All I can say is make sure to keep up with your routine check-ups…
You just never know…

Hello All

How's it going?

I hope all is well in blogland?

I have been a bit exhausted and uninspired as of late.

Something I will say is...

I am tired of people expecting me to do black flips because we have a black-president elect...
I am tired of people to expect me to always talk about the Obama's...
No! I don't think Michelle has great style...actually I find her kinda frumpy, and she reminds me of a caricature drawing.
No! I don't find the president-elect sexy...he's odd looking to me as well.
No! I don't care what kinda dog the first family gets.
No! I don't care what their secret service nicknames are.
So what, her mother's going to Washington to live with them...that's how black folks do...we don't hire random folks to take care of our children.
No! I don't care that he played basketball on election night.

We have already made this man larger than the office he will take, larger than life...
get back to me in four years...

On another note...

I never thought I would say that "Lollipop" was a beautiful song, but David Sides has made it just that.

k-spot PSA

Did you?

I am going to say something that many disagree with…

I feel that exercising your right to vote…gives you just as much right NOT to vote.

I feel that a vote is about convictions, and if you cannot place your vote in good faith…Don’t!
If you don’t know the issues to be voted on…Don’t!

An ignorant or just because vote is as worse than not voting…I can’t get with this vote just to vote mumbo jumbo…and if you pay taxes, you have a right to raise your voice in concern over how tax dollars are being spent…

I’m just saying…

Votes responsibly…make an informed vote!

This concludes my public service announcement.

On a more personal note…

Some things in my life suck right now…but I can’t let those get me down…I have no control over them…

I will say that I do have a lot of good things going on in my life right now…things I can control, and I feel good about the decisions I have made these past couple of months…

So if you can't change it...learn to accept it...if you can change it...work to do so...

stop moping and complaining...that's counter productive...

All in all…I feel good.

God saw fit...

to use me.

Went to bible study on Tuesday...

Pastor FREE approached me and asked, "Are you a Poet"

"I write."

"How did I know that"

"How did you know that?"

At that moment, I knew it was God speaking...and I could not say no...so whatever he wanted me to do...I had to do it...I have never presented anything that I've written before...but today, I did a spoken word presentation for youth Sunday...it's not the same written but I thought I would share with you all the same...

Hey Young man, can I get at you for a second.
What’s up lil’ sister, let me talk to you for a minute.
Why do you drag your feet and walk with your head hung low?
I too know what it’s like to trust a friend…only to learn instead of having your back…they’re stabbing your back…
Instead of holding you up…they’re dragging you down…
But I have a friend, that always has my back…no matter what…he got that
He is always there, and my life is better just because
He’s true and he’s real…
The King of the Trill
If you don’t know, you better ask somebody
You still don’t look like you feel…me.
You got the fly 'fit, check.
You got the fly kicks, check.
But yet, it seems that your hearts needs to be checked.
Your busted, your broken, wounds wide open…
You feel that no one cares, your heart is troubled…but…
Your burdens he'll bear...
Just let me share...
Check this, I too was there…
Busted and broken, wounds wide open...
I know what it’s like to hurt…
But he was wounded for MY transgressions, and now my wounds are healed…
That's why, I, can walk with my shoulders back and my head held high
Not because I'm fly like that…
I'm cool like that, I got my swag back, because of the SON
And for all that he’s done, for me…how can I not be down.
I'm a ride or die chick, and I choose to ride, because for me he died.
So the least I can do, is give HIM my life.
See…
It's not about me, it's about he
And together we…got it going on
And no one on the corner has swagger like us,
That's why in Christ, is where I put my trust.


Copyright © 2008 by kelic
All rights reserved. No part of this may be used or reproduced without the author's written consent.

kspot Flashback...

Here lately I've been yearning to be a relationship...

I am at a point in my life, where I want someone to share it with. Not saying I want to be married today...but I am tired of the status quo.

Just thought I would revisit this...

If Only I Had A Man...

That would let me know that everything is going to be alright when I am having a rough day.
That would sit with me and talk about everything while talking about nothing.
That realizes I'm not the typical chick.
That believes me and believes in me.
That can melt me with one touch.
That thinks of me before he acts.
That understands that I am the best person to have in his corner.
That realizes I always act with him in mind.
That calls me before he goes to bed, just to hear the sound of my voice.
That wants me to be his best friend.
That asks me what I'm thinking, or how I'm feeling before drawing his own conclusions.
That would talk to me, and let me know what's on his mind.
That greets me and asks how was my day when I get home from work.
That understands I will not always agree with him...but I am always for him...never against him.
That can accept me, all of me, flaws and all.
That would offer me the world if it were his to give.
That would hug me so tightly that I get lost in his arms.
If only...

Copyright © 2007 by kelic
All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used or reproduced in without the author's consent.

Here it is...

(vixenchick) said...
what qualities would you like for your potential mate to have?
This could be an entire blog posting in itself…
I want a man that is God fearing and believes in God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.
I want a man that is confident, I once posted that swagger is everything and I truly believe this.
I want a man that is strong willed…no alcoholics, drug users here.
I want a man that is honest! This should have come before confident…I need a man that I can trust, and that I know will always have my back.
I want a man that is ambitious…nothing sexier than a man that makes things happen!
I want a man that is intelligent, ambitious, humorous, and health conscious (meaning…he is exercises, eats fairly well, and he goes and gets regular check-ups).
I want a man that can give me multiple screaming orgasms…and I’m not talking about the bartender. ..

To be with me, he has to be willing to do the little things...can't take yourself too seriously, and find my quirks endearing.


Pajnstl said...
What's the most risqué' thing you've done in the past 45 days?
The past 45 days…I made a video of me pleasuring myself and sent it to a special friend…the file was so large that I could not email it…so I sent it via yousendit.com…
That was pretty out there for me…not to mention that the lights were in full effect in my living room, so if anyone on the 3rd floor facing the courtyard was on their patio…they may have gotten a show.

What goal would you like to accomplish in the next 45 days?
I would like to have a full complete draft of book 1…we’re almost there. JWhat's your fantasy?
You know…I don’t really have any explicit fantasies…well…I don’t know…sex in a football stadium (empty of course) but the possibility that you could be watched…and of course I have a particular football player (or two) in mind. *winks*



eclectik said...
Do you sleep with a doo rag?
I don’t…I have not slept with a doo-rag since I stopped relaxing my hair. But I am thinking about getting a satin pillow case…just because.

What's better? Steak or Pizza?
Hmmm…I’m a TX girl, and as much as I love Pizza, I will take a Steak instead any day!

Whats your bra size?
Right now…38 DD.

What would you rather have? Sex with Vince Young or a Texas National Championship?
Then…National Championship.
Now…Vince Young…
But I would be willing to settle for the 2008 National Championship.

Who would win in a dance off between you and Pajnstl?
Mannnn…shoot, that’s a hard one…but I think I can take her, unless she drops down into a split and starts doing back bends and stuff…I don’t know if I can still do all that, lol.



Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...
When did u first know u were a mac momma?
When I was 14…all the older fellas were following behind me, trying to spit game at me, and I realized I could get them to do “stuff” if they thought they had a chance to get at me.

When u gone get and read one of my books jones?
Mannn…how did my post become about you?! I am re-starting a book club, and I just might make one of your books a selection…which do you recommend?


Good questions. Thanks for indulging me.

What it is?

I feel it’s time it’s updated my blog…but not sure what I want to say. Have a lot of stuff on my mind, but I am really just too tired to articulate anything…

So…

Is there anything you want to know about me?
(Yes, I am jus that conceited to believe that y’all want to know about me, lol)

Ask away…

Message to a Friend

If my homie calls…tell him I have a message for him.
He once dedicated an Ode to me, In appreciate for my friendship...I feel it’s due time I returned the favor. It’s rare that I get around to showing my feelings…no time like the present to let him know that he is not alone…
The things we do for love we grow to regret, but keep ya head up
Although things may not be the way they were, better days are on the horizon
You will no longer have to shed so many tears…
I don’t see you crying, but I hear the sound of tears in your words
I too think about the way things were, the time we’ve loss,
We can never turn back time…never go back “old school”
We can only live for today, in anticipation for better days
You no longer need to say, “It’s me against the world”
I have your back…stop running’ from yourself
Realize you strength and all that you have overcome
Realize that in me you have someone you can call a friend…
until the end of time.

Copyright © 2008 by kelic
All rights reserved. No part of this may be used or reproduced without the author's consent.

Confusion

I have a lot what I want to say…not sure how to say it…not sure if it’s worth saying…

#2 is now #1…but he’s not ready to be #1, and he’s only #1 because #1 has been acting in a manner in which I don’t prefer…so does that mean that #1 is still #2.

I don’t have a problem with giving…until I feel that it goes unappreciated…once you become entitled…I no longer feel the desire to give…so if you appreciate it, I need to know it…so you better show it…or else I say f@#% it!

Say one thing…do another…words only hold merit if they are backed up with actions…so, I don’t care what you say…it’s all in what you do…and right now…you ain’t saying or doing boo!

Yep…still talking about #1…but I guess the issues would be non-issues if I did not really like him…but…I like #2 too… again…two tears in a bucket…f@#% it…

So why I am in this funk?